In my recent post, Five Common Blunders In Home Decor, I listed my all-time top five that I have encountered through the years.  I do admit that I have an eye for unusual details. Couple that with a good memory and I tell you, I can remember decorating blunders from years past even as a child.

For any of you that haven’t read my post on blunders, let me educate you as to what a blunder is.

Blunder: To make a mistake through stupidity, ignorance or carelessness.

So clearly, to make a blunder is an innocent mistake which means if it’s pointed out to you well then heck, you can fix it and voila, the blunder is gone.  At least that’s what should happen!

Now, I’m not much for comedy.  I’m pretty simple so most of it goes over my head.  Give me a good episode of Persons of Interest or Alcatraz and I’m a happy camper.  There is one comedian however that I totally get – Jeff Foxworthy.  Maybe it’s because I’m a southerner and so I understand his redneck jokes.  Or maybe his unique style of posing each joke as a hypothesis makes it clearer for it.  Or maybe its because I am a redneck!  Whatever the case may be, his style of one-liners has spilled over into my own personal life and for years I have obsessively used this same “If…Then” one-liner game to describe personality types and characteristics I encounter myself.  For example, I once wanted to list the qualities of a Narcissist so I played the Jeff Foxworthy game in my head saying things like, “If your husband thinks he’s the only good guy in the universe, then you know he’s a Narcissist”.  Or here’s another one.  “If your boss thinks God has given him a unique gift no one else understands, then you know he’s a Narcissist”.  See what I mean?  Or in trying to define a Drama Queen I’d say, “If she constantly overreacts to the itsy-bitsiest little thing, then you know she’s a Drama Queen”.  I’m telling you, this “If…Then” game can become a habit.  I play it in my head All.The.Time.  It’s quite entertaining.

So back to decorating and blunders.  As I wrote in Five Common Blunders In Home Décor, I’ve seen it all.  Most of the blunders I’ve encountered are easy ones to correct but some are real doozies.  Doozies put you on the road to Tackyville and if you make too many of these blunders, your home registers on my “Tacky Interiors Registry”.  OK, I’m kidding here.  I don’t have a Registry – yet.   But, just like my head game of “If…Then”, I also over and over again in my head design and decorate what I call “Tacky Interiors”.  I even have on my Bucket List of things to do before I expire teaching a Decorating 101 Course.  The first project I will assign the class will be to design a “Tacky Interiors Home” – fabrics, furniture, accessories, storyboard and all.  Talk about fun!  Oh and just so you know – Tacky for me means decorating blunders that create such an unpleasant distraction that the overall look becomes a real eyesore.  (Remember the Griswolds?  Yep, their house would be on my Registry!)

In no particular order, here’s my list of “If…Then” one-liners that define doozie-decorating blunders.  I hope you enjoy them and let me just say, nobody reading this post needs to worry about ever being on my “Tacky Interiors Registry” so don’t start guessing to whom I’m referring…

  • If you look at the calendar and notice it’s March and the Christmas Decorations are still up, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If your foyer chandelier still has the plastic wrap on the individual shades after a year, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If you have plastic runners overtop of your carpeting, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If it’s the middle of winter and you have last summer’s dead plants still on your front porch, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If you have the garden tags still hanging on your potted plants inside your home or out, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If you have street facing garage windows with no window coverings or blinds on them and you can see the stuff in your garage, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If electrical cords for your lamps or other electronics go from one room to the next for an outlet to plug into, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If the blinds on your windows still have the manufacturer’s tags dangling from each one and you plan to keep the blinds, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If you decorate your gutter downspouts with greenery and lights for Christmas and you aren’t the Griswolds, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If your microwave or toaster oven sits on top of a pile of other household items, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If you have Cannabis Plants decorating your home, then you know you made a decorating blunder.  (And it might get you in trouble!)
  • If your solid wood dining room table is always covered in a table pad, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If the bedskirt on your bed is inches off the floor, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If you have TMI of personal hygiene in public areas of your home, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If you have plastic flowers and ferns planted in your flowerbeds, then you know you made a decorating blunder.

And finally,

  • If you have a pit in your stomach while reading this post, then you made a decorating blunder… somewhere, somehow… and you’re worried!

Enjoy checking out your homespace.  Let me know what you find!

To loving life…

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Jamie Balzer

About Jamie Balzer

Jamie has worked in the field of interior decorating for over 10 years and has owned B&A Interiors, LLC for almost as long. Partnered with her daughter, Sammi Blake, Jamie has been honored to work in homes and businesses across the country. Knowledge and experience is but part of what she has to offer. As a young girl, Jamie intuitively understood that the placement of things, the color of things, and the arrangement of things evoke certain feelings. Working together with this knowledge, experience and intuition Jamie has answered the call to her life’s purpose- teaching the spiritual truth of what she believes- “Everything begins in the home”. As a branch of B&A Interiors, LLC, Living In Perfect Harmony emerged to teach her philosophy. Jamie believes, “if you live peacefully and beautifully at home, you are well, your family is well and that helps to make the world a better place”. Jamie's most passionate role is as a mother and grandmother. Jamie currently lives and works in the Chicago area but also continues her business in Charlotte, NC as both a decorator and a homespace coach. She is certified in Reiki Therapy which she believes broadens her success as a homespace coach. Jamie is available for private consultations, lectures and seminars.

6 thoughts on “

  1. A timely posting for sure as we get ready to put our house on the market the beginning of May. I read with caution, hoping not to find too many “If. . . then’s” I had committed. Somehow, I’m not sure having the realtor add to the write up, “And the home appears on Jamie Balzer’s Tacky Interiors Registry!” would be a good thing. . . But seriously, I really enjoyed this one. I think I’m in the clear. Mostly.

    • Susan, all of us at one time or another have committed doozie blunders. Just today I was driving through one of the most beautiful, prestigious areas of the western suburbs of Chicago. Large, beautifully designed homes filled all the streets I traveled down. I quit counting the number of homes with window boxes containing plastic (no not dried, real plastic) flowers, ferns and greenery. Certainly Chicago has harsh, cold winters but seriously, plastic flowers in window boxes are such an eyesore! The beauty of the home immediately gets overshadowed by a doozie blunder – at least in my decorating book! Thanks so much for commenting. I know your new nest in Asheville will be all that you dream it to be. I hope I get an open invitation to visit! I will personally let my roving eye take in your homespace to assure you that you will never be on my “Tacky Interiors Registry”!

  2. Hello Jamie…I’ve read this list over and over and gone thru my home. Noted I do have two small artificial firs in a pot gracing the garage and no one realizes they aren’t real until I tell them, I’ve only admitted to one person. Of course I do have the “forest” on the mantel. Obviously faux but people do ask if they are real.
    I can remember as a younger housekeeper keeping the cello on lamp shades, don’t remember why, don’t do that most ways I pass (of course that’s my story, should ask the kids). Joy stark

    • Joy, you have written to me before about your forest above your fireplace. I visualized then and still do now a splendidly unique display of Nature’s bounty. I suspect your children would agree with your assessment of your homespace and if asked, they would say that it honors all that you love in nature in a beautiful way. Kudos to you for both your creativity and love of Nature. And, how wonderful you can “admit” to your lampshade mistakes of years past – life is all about learning and also about laughing at what the lessons entail!

  3. Hi Jamie, thank you for all your kind thoughts and the compliments too. Another “mistake” I made was not in decorating per say but in making the bed. I was a guest at someone’s home and stripped the bed and resheeted it when she said no no no the top sheet goes upside down. You sleep between the flowers, not on them. I was so embarrassed – to this day don’t know if my Mom even knew that.
    I was in my 30′s – never too old to learn.
    Joy Stark

    • Joy, you are so right – we are never too old to learn. Just a few months ago while visiting family in Richmond, VA my sister-in-law (or outlaw as we fondly call her) and I got into a full discussion on the proper way to hang toilet paper on the paper hanger in the bathroom. After that I came home and even researched it online. Who knew there were etiquette rules for how the TP hangs?!? And, just this morning I realized the light bulbs in the fixture over my center island looked off. On closer inspection, I realized that when I replaced one of the bulbs the other day that although the wattage was the same as the other two, it was from a different manufacturer and so the light coming from the bulb was actually less intense that the other two bulbs. Ahhh, the details! As for bed sheets, I remember well when I learned how to properly make a bed. Fortunately my mother taught me as a teenager so I didn’t have any embarrassing moments with that later on. However, I know I have made some blunders of my own through the years and am glad to have them pointed out to me when done in the spirit of kindness. Life is a schoolhouse you never outgrow if you ask me. Have a blissful day!

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