Our Homes Must Express Our True Essence

I know this to be true. Further, I believe that often our homespace does not match our true selves.

This happens for various reasons. Here are a few:

  • We are out of balance with who we really are.
  • We live and define our homespace by someone else’s standards.
  • We are insecure in our true selves and stifle our unique expression in our homespace décor.

How do I know this to be true?

I have experienced it myself. Let me explain…

A few weeks after my husband decided to separate and move out of our family home (shortly before my 40th birthday-ouch), I had landscapers come remove an enormous river birch that was overtaking and overshadowing the front of our house. We had planted it as a small tree several years earlier not realizing how quickly it would grow. Well, it soon came to resemble Jack’s beanstalk. Seriously, it was so tall that it reached for the clouds.

This tree had become an eye sore to me and I had complained about it to my husband for quite some time before our separation. This had always fallen on deaf ears SO, once my husband decided to leave, DOWN came the tree.

Empowerment feels wonderful.

It was like a Mary Tyler Moore moment for me when she looked skyward in the opening clip of her TV show years ago and threw off her hat. Empowerment at its finest for me! And, symbolically just as the tree came down to open up the beauty of my home, I began to open up and slowly become more authentically who I am.
Next came the new built-in bookcases in the living room to transform the space into a reading room…

I guess you can say that up until the river birch came down, I had never expressed my true essence in the décor of my home. Quite frankly, for years I had been guilty of succumbing to all the reasons I listed above in creating my homespace.

Not anymore. I was beginning to blossom.

Much more happened to me besides beginning to express my true self through the décor of my home.

Everything happens for a reason.

I believe there are no coincidences. I believe there are no accidents. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Out of every situation you can find a teachable moment.

My true path opened up for me after my divorce and several other devastating situations. I call these types of experiences “trauma-drama” because that is what they are: trauma because of the horrific feelings and fall-out that accompany these difficult situations, drama because of the fact that there is usually way too much of it in the situation.


What I came to discover is that each of these situations helped to teach me who I really am. In the worst experiences of my life I have learned the most. I have even built a career out of it and now live my passion.

All of us can do this. All of us can take these extremely difficult times and make them positive. Use your homespace as a means to help and support you in doing this.

Let your home be the outward manifestation of your true self.

When your homespace is not in balance with your true self there is always something that feels a little off. It is as if you are trying to be comfortable in a sweater that just doesn’t fit you right. It doesn’t work.

Take this moment to begin to look at your homespace. Ask yourself the question, “Is this really me?”

If not, consider reconstruction of your homespace- what I call “The Four R’s” of reconstruction:

  1. Redefine
  2. Redesign
  3. Renovate
  4. Refine

Look for later articles on “The Four R’s” and by the way, the same techniques can be applied to reconstructing your inner self as I explain in my upcoming book, “And so… The Shadow Woman Emerged”!

One thought…

Your homespace should be as unique as those who dwell within it.

Feel empowered…

Photo credit: Susan Muehl

This entry was posted in Architecture, Décor, Inspiration, Interior Design, Landscaping, Mental Health, Psychology and tagged , , , by Jamie Balzer. Bookmark the permalink.
Jamie Balzer

About Jamie Balzer

Jamie has worked in the field of interior decorating for over 10 years and has owned B&A Interiors, LLC for almost as long. Partnered with her daughter, Sammi Blake, Jamie has been honored to work in homes and businesses across the country. Knowledge and experience is but part of what she has to offer. As a young girl, Jamie intuitively understood that the placement of things, the color of things, and the arrangement of things evoke certain feelings. Working together with this knowledge, experience and intuition Jamie has answered the call to her life’s purpose- teaching the spiritual truth of what she believes- “Everything begins in the home”. As a branch of B&A Interiors, LLC, Living In Perfect Harmony emerged to teach her philosophy. Jamie believes, “if you live peacefully and beautifully at home, you are well, your family is well and that helps to make the world a better place”. Jamie's most passionate role is as a mother and grandmother. Jamie currently lives and works in the Chicago area but also continues her business in Charlotte, NC as both a decorator and a homespace coach. She is certified in Reiki Therapy which she believes broadens her success as a homespace coach. Jamie is available for private consultations, lectures and seminars.

4 thoughts on “Our Homes Must Express Our True Essence

  1. Hi Jamie,

    Awesome article! I have been de-cluttering for a few months now (it’s amazing how much we accumulate over the years) and find that as I give away things that no longer serve me, I feel much more free and less anxious.
    It takes alot of energy to manage “stuff” even if it’s packed away and stored!

    • I am so glad you like this article, Carol. So glad you are enjoying the process of de-cluttering as well. It gives you such a feeling of freedom, I agree completely. It also makes you feel a sense of empowered to take on the next task as well. Keep reading!

  2. Commenting on your four R’s…..I will have been married 50 yrs. On Sept. 16th. We started out in student housing And we had egg cartons on the ceiling for acoustical tiles and many moves to rentals and to my now beautiful home and each one was US as much as it could be. Remembering back we have changed A LOT. Each step of the way was a transformation of who we evolved to be. Would love to it all over again but we live the BEST today.
    blessings to you. Joy Stark

    • Joy,
      You hit the nail on the head about how we evolve as we both “age” and experience life. The key to this transformation is to understand that your personal homespace must be in step with what you have become. It makes all the difference in creating harmony in you as a person. You clearly get it! Kudos to you and your husband to be together for almost 50 years- and it sounds as if the years have
      been blissful ones at that. Congratulations! And, keep reading!!!

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