As I child I remember hearing the story about the “Three Little Pigs” many times.  What I took from it was the obvious – the smart person builds their home with bricks so that nothing will blow it down and for me that meant the elements of nature such as wind and terrible storms.  Much later as an adult I realized that the real meaning of the story is to fortify our “being” homes in a way that nothing can destroy our psyches.  At least that’s my take on it.  And certainly we are given ample ways to fortify with everything from our faith to self-help guru’s we listen to and watch on TV to courses on self-esteem, yada, yada, yada.  Still, I think many of us have days (and many perhaps weeks or months) of times when we feel we could crumble easily – just like the little pig who’s house was made of straw.  The wolf barely blew and down went his house.  I found myself in a home made of straw the day after my last blog post A Better Home was published.

For those of you that aren’t familiar with the blogging world and all the details, there are two ways you can read my blog.  One is to stumble upon it on the Internet.  The other is to subscribe to it so that you can get an email alert for each new post.  I get all the analytics on who subscribes and even by the way, who actually reads my posts.  It’s thrilling to say the least to get new subscribers.  It’s also thrilling to view my analytics each day a post comes out to see who clicked on the email link and took the time to read my words.  It is NOT so thrilling when a reader unsubscribes…

I admit that my blog has a lot of touchie-feelie stuff going on. My blog is certainly personal and the words I write flow directly from my heart.  In fact, each time I sit down to write I say abundant prayers and meditations that my words will reach others in the way I hope they will and that those that read my words will somehow benefit from them.  So anytime someone takes the time to unsubscribe, umm, well, it makes my psyche (ego) crumble like a house made of straw.  Especially when the person that unsubscribes isn’t someone you figured ever would.

A kindred spirit I met at the Benjamin Moore store

About a year ago I was in a Benjamin Moore store working on colors for a client.  A woman was in there at the same time trying to decide on a new color for her home office. Of course, I had to offer my two cents opinion.  Excited to get my thoughts, she ran outside to get a panel of her window treatments to show me so that I could give her a better opinion.  One thing led to another and we began to talk about my blog.  She told me she was a writer herself and that her new blog was coming out soon.  We talked for a good 30 minutes and we both left agreeing to read each other’s blogs and to even try and get together the next time I was planning to be in Charlotte.  We felt there was no coincidence that we met each other and laughed about being kindred spirits.  So, I subscribed to her new blog when I was invited to and she subscribed to mine.  Ever since, we have been reading each other’s posts.  After A Better Home came out, I saw on my analytics that she read the post.  But, later that day I saw that she unsubscribed to my blog.  What happened to being kindred spirits?!?  My ego was crushed and truly, a mere puff of wind could have knocked me down.  Yep, my home felt made of straw.  Days later I realized it was a matter of point of view.

Interesting point of view, I have this point of view

I spent days dwelling on this loss I felt when she unsubscribed to my blog.  I think it was particularly crushing to my psyche (ego) because just in the last few months I have been practicing willingness as I expressed in my post, Willingness.  For sure my posts have been more about what lays on my heart.  I’ve been putting myself out there in a way that I hoped would touch others and encourage them to be more themselves.  At the same time, I began speaking more about my spiritual side.  With my spirituality being more inclusive of all creeds than exclusive to a specific creed, maybe I pushed her away.  She writes a Christian blog so did I offend her? Regardless of why she unsubscribed I soon realized I needed to get over the hurt that I had magnified in my head.  This hurt had made me feel insecure in who I was and what I was exposing about myself.  Worse, I took the quantum leap of assuming because she unsubscribed that meant I was a failure.   So I practiced a healing exercise my dear friend and colleague, Jannette Semenic taught me to do.  I call it the “Interesting point of view” game because each time I do it by the end of the exercise I am smiling and laughing at the change that comes over me.  I hope you’ll try it yourself whenever you feel ready to crumble or feel your house is made of straw.  Here’s how to do it:

  • Know the belief you want to use in the exercise.  For example, mine would be the belief that I am a failure as a writer because someone unsubscribed to my blog.
  • Out loud say these words:  “Interesting point of view, I have this point of view that ___________________________.” (Insert in the blank your personal belief.)
  • Repeat these same words again.
  • Repeat these same words again for the third time.

What happens to you when you do this?  Do you begin to see that whatever the belief is that you have about yourself is really nothing more than your own point of view and that you have CHOSEN to have that point of view?  Can you feel a shift in your belief about yourself?

Make a habit of correcting your point of view when needed

Our point of view on anything and everything is our own choice.  My hope is that in sharing this story of myself with you that you will look inside yourself and see if and where you have any parts of your “being” home that need fortifying and if your point of view needs correcting.  If so, I think that means you’re human.  I also hope that in sharing this healing exercise with you, you have a new tool to use whenever you do need strengthening.  Please let me know if you try this and of course, if it works.  After all, we are all on this road of life together and we need to lend each other a helping hand whenever we can to make our world a better home to live in.

To living in perfect harmony…

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Jamie Balzer

About Jamie Balzer

Jamie has worked in the field of interior decorating for over 10 years and has owned B&A Interiors, LLC for almost as long. Partnered with her daughter, Sammi Blake, Jamie has been honored to work in homes and businesses across the country. Knowledge and experience is but part of what she has to offer. As a young girl, Jamie intuitively understood that the placement of things, the color of things, and the arrangement of things evoke certain feelings. Working together with this knowledge, experience and intuition Jamie has answered the call to her life’s purpose- teaching the spiritual truth of what she believes- “Everything begins in the home”. As a branch of B&A Interiors, LLC, Living In Perfect Harmony emerged to teach her philosophy. Jamie believes, “if you live peacefully and beautifully at home, you are well, your family is well and that helps to make the world a better place”. Jamie's most passionate role is as a mother and grandmother. Jamie currently lives and works in the Chicago area but also continues her business in Charlotte, NC as both a decorator and a homespace coach. She is certified in Reiki Therapy which she believes broadens her success as a homespace coach. Jamie is available for private consultations, lectures and seminars.

8 thoughts on “

  1. Jamie, you touched my writer’s heart this morning as I read your blog. As writers, we struggle to ‘get it right’, but we are attempting to put into words what has no path to follow. Thank you for sharing your insight. It is a gentle reminder that we all have times of uncertainty and may be looking for permission that we are on the right path – however, as creatives, there is no path we can follow, but what God puts on our hearts.

    • Thank you so much Robin for your kind words. We creative folk do put ourselves out there in a way that makes us vulnerable and opens the door to potential criticism. When I felt so crushed to know another writer unsubscribed, it was hard to get over – particularly knowing that this person that unsubscribed also wrote a blog on her own spirituality. Upon deeper reflection I realized I STILL have some work to do with really being open with my faith, my walk with God and my calling in life. So I guess in reality I should be thankful that I had this experience. Funny thing, too – the day before she unsubscribed to my blog I got four new readers, none of whom I know. What does that say that I focused on the one person that unsubscribed and NOT the four new ones?!? Certainly much to ponder. And by the way, I would love to see more of your own writing. You write with beautiful words. I love what you wrote about creative people having no path to follow but what God puts on their hearts. I know this for myself to be true. That’s why each and every time I write I pray and meditate over the moment so that somehow and somewhere my words meet another soul with feeling. Thanks for writing! Have a blissful day!

  2. A big hooray to the 4 new subscribers!

    It’s good to read many points of view and be open minded…but be proud of your point of view. Isn’t that what we were taught?

    • Yes, I was thrilled to see I have new readers and the fact that I focused on the unsubscriber gave me pause to remember to always, always view the glass half full rather than half empty. And actually, I am quite proud of my point of view on most things. As we approach our mother’s 85th birthday I think more of what we six siblings were taught as we were growing up. We were taught to be ethical, truthful, caring people and Daddy taught us to treat everyone equally as well. Thanks dear sister for your cheerleading!

  3. I love how you write from your heart… you are wise and express yourself so well. . . .I often think you are writing to me! I learned years ago as a young mother not to take personal the comments my children made to me .. . . a hard lesson sometimes! Your suggestions concerning a “different point of view” are helpful . I like your perspective! Carry on!!

    • Becky, thank you so much for such kind words. I am thrilled to know you feel a connection through my words. It is certainly a goal of mine and one that I fervently pray for. We are all meant to be kindred spirits I believe. God’s intention was and is that we live in perfect harmony. My words are my own contribution to seeing this happen. By the way, as a mother of “older children” don’t you STILL worry too much about the comments your children make to you?!? I know I do! Oh right, that’s why God gave us grandchildren. They think we’re perfect…

  4. Glad to see this! Strength comes from within and I try to stress that to Tanner. Without many varying opinions, faiths, etc the world would not be a melting pot, a patchwork quilt of different human beings all working and living together in different capacities to make the world “go ’round”. How boring would life be if we were all the same inside or out?! I’m glad you have found strength to be yourself and speak to the world from deep inside! No one has the right to take away your freedom of speech. Keep writing, inspiring, and touching hearts and lives!

    Love you!

    • Amen Cathy and keep teaching this to Tanner. Strength from within is probably one of the most valuable lessons any of us can ever learn. Love your imagery of a patchwork quilt of humanity. It is so true and if we but look at humanity like we look at a beautiful quilt we would see all the varying colors, shapes and sizes that go into making such a beautiful masterpiece! The key is to remember each part of the quilt has its own beauty and I for one tend to look at all the other beauty and overlook my own contribution to the quilt. Double and triple Amen to freedom of speech by the way. As always thank you for your thoughtful comments. Love you bunches!

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