There are some very simple touches to your home décor that can send out real powerful feel good vibes and at the same time honor your individuality.  I believe these vibes come from what I call “positive impact statements”.

Here’s a list of some ways to make positive impact statements in your homespace:

• By displaying special collections
• By using interesting artwork
• By artfully displaying family photographs
• By creating focal points in each room
• By adding bits of the unexpected

Displaying special collections

Most of us collect things.  I love to collect vintage dinnerware.  I also collect Herend Porcelain Figurines.  Both are displayed in my homespace and yet, not overdone.  Instead, I strategically display my collections in specific areas of my space for the greatest impact.  The key to displaying collections is to remember my decorating mantra “less is more”.  Overkill ruins the beauty of collectibles for sure.

Using interesting artwork

Geometric Art in a nursery / Cameron Triggs Photography

The choices of artwork that you use in your homespace are a huge impact statement.  Interesting artwork makes for positive vibes.  So, think through carefully what you choose to put on your walls.  Have fun mixing things up, too!  If you tend to be somewhat traditional, kick it up a notch with some contemporary artwork.  Or if you like modern furnishings, accent your decor with black and white artwork or even landscape pieces of art.  Whatever you choose, mix and match so that you keep it interesting.  I promise you – the look will be great!

Artfully displaying family photographs

Artfully displayed family photos

This type of positive statement is my all-time favorite to use in home décor because I am all about family.  If you ask me, all else in life pales in comparison to the feel good vibes you can get from the family connection.  Find a great space in your home to create a “wall of family life”.  For more on this impact statement look for my upcoming post titled, “Artfully Celebrating Family Life In Home Décor”.

Creating focal points in each room

Nothing makes a positive impact statement more than creating an interesting focal point in the room.  Ways to do this include using an interesting piece of furniture as a statement, using bold pops of color in the room with pillows or other accessories or even using an interesting area rug as the focal point of the room.

Adding bits of the unexpected

Wall art becomes an extra place for creativity / Cameron Triggs Photography

Every space can benefit from some fun and whimsy.  I have been known to “hide” bits of whimsy in client’s homes in ways that on first glance get overlooked.  But, boy-oh-boy is it fun to see the surprise on someone’s face when they happen upon the unexpected!  Other times the unexpected can be more obvious such as in this picture of a playroom.  In the room one wall was painted with characters from the book, Alice In Wonderland.  The characters double as a chalkboard, a corkboard and a metallic board as well.  What a great space for budding young artists to be able to create in!

“You”, your HOME’s most powerful impact statement

Finally, I want to say that your homespace is impacted the most by you.  Your attitudes, your feelings and your behaviors can flat out make or break the energy of your space.  Be cognizant of this and strive to thrive in your space by being positive and full of life.  Your space will begin to “feel” your positive energy and others will feel it, too.  When you get right down to it “you” are your “HOME” because it mirrors you.  So, if you want your home to be inviting to others make sure you are giving off positive vibes yourself.

Love your space and love your life…

Because this month is American Heart Month and also the month we celebrate love, this post is about your heart, your most personal HOME.  A healthy heart is crucial to a healthy body much as your homespace needs a strong foundation in order to support the structure you dwell in.  And, a heart needs to be healthy in two important ways:

• Physically
• Emotionally

A physically healthy heart

I’m not a doctor so I won’t even begin to try and preach specifics about physical heart health.  Just know I have had up close and personal experience with family and friends that have experienced heart problems or worse – heart attacks.

Here are some simple facts of heart disease to ponder:

• Coronary Heart Disease (CHD) is the leading cause of all deaths in the U.S. each year.
• One-third of those that suffer a heart attack do not survive it.
• In the U.S., someone has a heart attack every 34 seconds.
• Heart disease is the leading cause of death in American women.

CeCe Hampton loving life

Speaking of women, my dear friend CeCe Hampton is a survivor of a heart attack herself.  I admire her greatly as she has chosen to be a spokesperson for the fight against Coronary Heart Disease.  CeCe’s heart attack came at the ripe old age of 31.  I spoke with her the other day about this and asked her what her message would be for other women on heart disease. This is was she said,

“Women need to listen to their bodies and look for any warning signs that something is askew.  We women will take our husbands or our children to the doctor right away but for some reason most of us ignore our own health and put it off for another day.”

CeCe told me that when she felt unusual pain in her chest, she practiced what she now preaches.  She listened to her body, went to the doctor and now is alive to tell her story.  By the way, if you want to hear more of her story go to:

http://www.goredforwomen.org/inspiring_stories.aspx

Thanks CeCe for allowing me to share with others an up close and personal experience of yours!  You go girl and while you’re at it – continue to follow your bliss!

An emotionally healthy heart

This is the part of heart health that truly fascinates me.  As I said earlier, I’m not a doctor, but it just makes sense to me that our hearts are affected by our emotions.  I believe that our bodies work from the inside out.  By that I mean that first we feel the emotion, then we physically respond to it.  For several years in my own life, stress wrecked havoc on my body.  All the chronic stress my body was under made war on my body like pollutants to destroy me physically.  I had to pay the Piper for all the trauma-drama in a myriad of ways that I still deal with today.  I believe that there is such a strong connection between the heart, mind and body that it is imprudent to separate them from a cause and effect scenario.  Each affects the other in my view.  And, there is plenty of compelling data to support this.  For example in the book, The Heart Speaks cardiologist, Dr. Mimi Guarneri “speaks” to this very subject.  She says that loneliness, grief, sadness, bitterness, hurt and anger can greatly impact a healthy heart.   Dr. Guarneri says people truly can have so much emotional damage to their heart that they die of “a broken heart”.  I believe it.

So, imagine if starting today each of us took a better look inside our hearts and posed the question, “How emotionally healthy are you dear heart of mine?”  Today, I would be able to honestly answer, “Pretty darn healthy dear friend.”  When I asked myself this same question a few short years ago the answer was just the opposite.  I knew I needed to reduce the stress in my life in order to be more emotionally heart healthy so I began to make some hefty changes in my life. By making these changes, I have made my heart emotionally strong.  Here are some of the ways I have done it:

• By choosing to meditate.
• By choosing to spend time in Nature as often as possible.
• By choosing to focus on positive memories.
• By choosing to add humor to my daily life.
• By choosing to smile more.
• By choosing to be positive.
• By choosing to live in the moment.
• By choosing silence.
• By choosing to use the word “love” as a verb.

The operative word here is “choosing”.  After all, everything we do is a choice.  Nothing is going to change unless you choose to make changes.  It’s that simple.

Here’s the challenge ~ begin today to actively work on making your heart healthier both physically and emotionally.  Start with baby steps if you need to.  Baby steps progress into bigger steps for sure.  Remember, the choice is yours.

Choose to have a heart full of all the best in life you can have.  And by the way, just when you think your heart is full of all the best, something new will come along and add to your heart happiness.  Mine did just recently as a matter of fact.  My youngest son, Jimmy (my baby) officially chose the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with.  She is a wonderful fit for Jimmy.  She loves the outdoors and even loved getting engaged in a tree stand deep in the woods in the cold of December 2011. Welcome to my heart HOME, Lailuma!  My heart swells with joy knowing my son is so deeply happy with you in his life!

Lailuma Miller in the great outdoors

To loving life and having a happy, healthy heart…

With age comes wisdom or so they say and so clever me, once my children were grown and I wanted to find ways to display their childhood artwork, I finally got smart!  You could say that I also had one of those “if I had known then what I know now” moments for sure.   Instead of on the front and side(s) of the refrigerator, I came up with the idea to display their childhood artwork in other spaces that not only made for Walks down Memory Lane by highlighting years gone by, but also added immensely to my décor.  In fact, I will go a step further and say that this newfound way to display my children’s artwork became an art form in and of itself and piqued the interest of anyone visiting my home – a conversation piece just waiting to happen!  After I met my David and we joined households, our home became forever more a “Brady Bunch” of artwork.  It makes us both happy-sappy to see our children’s early years so beautifully portrayed in our homespace.

Children’s art speaks volumes from what is in their hearts.  I say honor this and display their art in your homespace in ways that make them smile and at the same time that is pleasing to the eye.  Simply choose very specific ways and places to do so.  Here are three of the best ways I have found to achieve this in my own homespace:

• In the Laundry Room/Mudroom
• On Bookshelves
• In the garage

In the Laundry Room/Mudroom

Addison and Austin’s special art

Being a utilitarian space, most of us forget to decorate our laundry rooms and mudrooms. Yet, much of our time is spent in both spaces.  Years back I decided to frame selected pieces of my children’s early art in floating acrylic frames.  This was easy to do myself and very affordable.  You can do this for yourself by going to retailers such as Michael’s or Hobby Lobby.  Simply choose appropriate size frames for your artwork.  (By the way, using this type of frame gives you the flexibility of changing out the artwork over the years as your children age.)  Another way to display children’s art is on a corkboard that you can continue to change and update.  I have a handmade, hand-painted corkboard that traveled with us from Charlotte to Chicago.  In fact, I had the movers literally pack the corkboard exactly as it was so that once I unpacked it I had an instant connection to Charlotte.  You see we have our step-grandchildren’s works of art on it that they have made especially for David and me.  Addison and Austin’s art from the heart is the first thing we see when we enter our home from the garage.  By the way, I cannot wait to add our precious granddaughter, Ansley’s first piece of artwork on it once she draws something for us!  Talk about a love connection…

Gavin and Logan O’Connell’s Artwork on an old door

Here’s another example – one of my fave niece’s, (OK, so all my nieces and nephews- all 20 or so of them – are my faves) Jackie O’Connell has a brilliant way she displays Gavin and Logan’s artwork in the mudroom.  She has an old door hanging on one wall that she puts all their artwork on.  Jackie and Scott’s mudroom is the entry into their home from the garage where the kids put their book bags and shoes each day.  What a wonderful way to start and end the day viewing such personal art from the heart!  Plus, displaying their work this way makes things neat and tidy all around!

On Bookshelves

I am a lover of books so no matter where I live I make sure I have plenty of bookshelves for my books whether they are built-in or freestanding.  For example, when David and I moved to Chicago our home had a wonderfully large bonus room that I turned into a home office.  On one long wall I have placed bookcases from IKEA – inexpensive but classy looking – and mixed in the books I have arranged bits and pieces of our children’s artwork.  What fun to see these pieces of art from the heart each and every day I work at home.  Nothing could be better if you ask me!

Jimmy Aliff’s self-portrait

In the Garage

The Blake Family Art

I love to decorate all spaces in my home and I recommend to my clients that they do the same thing.  The garage is a great place to display works of art as well as sports pictures of your children through the years.  In the garage I tend to keep to the outdoor theme regardless of what pieces of my children’s art or childhood history I hang.  Whatever you do in this space, make it family-friendly and also make it a wonderful greeting to you as you enter your home and sanctuary away from the daily grind.

Regardless of where you display your children’s precious artwork  ~ true art from the heart ~ give it what it deserves.  Give it a place of recognition.  Furthermore, let it become part of your décor in a way that beckons others to look at it, marvel over it and make them want to head home to make space in their place for their own children’s works of art.

To children and their endless ability to love…

I happen to be a decorator so certainly I like to decorate for any and all of the holidays my David and I observe. However, I also believe in being practical and cost-conscious so here are some ways I suggest decorating and celebrating the month of Love:

• Find inexpensive things to purchase to help create the theme of love in your homespace for the month of February. Just like any other holiday you decorate for, keep all your “Valentine Theme Décor” in a container for that holiday in an easily accessible place. (HINT: If this is a new décor idea for you, like with all holiday décor, often the best time to purchase Valentine’s Day items is after February 14th then you can be ready for next year!)
• Make a family picture on Valentine’s Day to commemorate one more year of love in your family. Add to the collection each year and for the month of February display all the past family pictures in a grouping in your homespace. Having everyone wear red for the “Kodak moment” makes it even more festive and fun!
• Make your own “Love Tree” simply by making heart shaped cards on construction paper then writing different love quotes on each one. Hang them by string on a sturdy plant in your homespace such as a Weeping Fig or a Norfolk Island Palm. This is a fun activity you can get the entire family involved in or you can even invite friends to make a Valentine for your tree. (Remember, plants are a vital part of making a healthy home as discussed in a recent Blog post, Top Twelve Best Indoor Plants For Purifying The Air)
• Make everyone happy with Homemade Pancakes this month – only use a heart shaped cookie cutter to make heart shaped pancakes. I guarantee you; smiles will be abundant in your household! (For my fave recipe for Pancakes check out my post, Homemade Pancakes – What Could Be Better?)
• Switch out your decorative candles to red (or even pink) ones, particularly in the more personal spaces such as bathrooms and the master bedroom.
• Nothing beats fresh flowers for any occasion. For the month of February fill your homespace with the colors of love – red carnations, red roses, etc. with splashes of pinks and whites.
• Go to your local bakery and pick up a few professionally decorated Valentine’s cookies and display them in a glass cake saver for pure delight. Better still use festive looking doilies for them to sit on to add more interest! (Remember, you can freeze these cookies and display them from year-to-year.)
• Fill your homespace with the aromatic scents we connect with feelings of love in your nebulizer or with scented candles. For a relaxed, peaceful feeling of love look for oils such as Rose Oil or Rose scented candles. (Oil from the Pink-Red Damascus Rose is one of the best.) For feisty (feelings of love that is) look for spicy scented oils such as Ginger and Cinnamon. Regardless of which scents suit your taste, diffusing essential oils into your homespace definitely enhances the mood of your space. (See my post, Aromatherapy In Your Home.)

HELPFUL HINT:

The most important thing to remember in decorating is my motto “Less is more”.  There is absolutely, positively no quicker or better way to destroy a classy look than to take a theme into overdrive.  So with the color Red being the warmest color on the color wheel (as I discussed in my post, Seeing Red) subtle uses of the color will speak volumes.

Photo Credit: Kristin Vining Photography

Enjoy loving…

Recently I found myself in a situation whereby Webster’s Dictionary was pulled out, referred to and actually used to define some very simple and common every day words.  I’m talking about words such as “shall” and “all”.  Everyone thinks they know what these words mean, but evidently their meanings are still open for debate and interpretation in some arenas. The word “love” is used all the time and yet, many of us don’t really think about what it means either.

In a recent post I made a statement that I firmly believe to be true about the word “love”. In my post, Cleaning The Mirror, I said, “Love is the most important verb in the English language.”  Now most of us think of the word “love” as a noun.  Here’s the definition found in Webster’s Dictionary for the word “love” used as a verb:

To hold dear; to like or desire actively; to take pleasure in

There’s a reason why in my post, Cleaning The Mirror I referred to the word “love “as a verb.  I personally don’t think most of us participate in it enough.  I know I don’t.  Clearly, verbs are action words.  To use this word as an action word, it requires you to do something.  So, what I want to impress upon you is to use the word “love” this month as a verb.  Actively participate in giving love this month- each and everyday to everyone in your HOME – be it your personal homespace, your workspace or your earthspace – after all, these are all parts that make up your HOME.  Get creative in the ways you go about this.  You will amaze yourself with what you come up with.  Simple acts of love such as bringing your loved one a cup of steaming hot coffee in the morning, reading an extra book to your child even though you are exhausted and ready for quiet time yourself, wrapping your child in a warm towel after a bath, calling a shut-in and saying hello, keeping your thoughts to yourself when someone annoys you, offering to take out the trash, closing the lid on the toilet, turning off the TV to talk to your partner, saying hello to people on the street, bringing cookies to work for your co-workers, complimenting someone you see, calling an old friend you haven’t touched base with in years, resisting the urge to get the last word in, smiling often, giving the waiter or waitress an extra tip, treating someone to an ice cream cone, texting someone that you love them, saying positive things to others, picking up litter, asking someone to go for a walk, etc., etc., etc.  The sky’s the limit on creative ways to actively participate in giving love to others!

Last year I embarked on a yearlong exercise in personal growth.  In early January of 2011 I assigned myself a focus word for each month.  My intention was to carefully study and use that particular word each day of that month in some form.  For the month of February I assigned myself the word  “Affection”.  Obviously I thought it was the perfect word to coincide with both Heart Month and Valentine’s Day.  It was wonderful to actively participate in using this word somehow each day.  But, the most rewarding way for me was when I assigned a person’s name to each day of the month.  I actually wrote each person’s name on my desk calendar and highlighted it with a marker so that I visually saw their name all day long.  Then I wrote a personal letter of affection to each person on that day.  (Hand written and mailed.)  It was like giving out Valentine’s cards and letters each day of the month. Sure, it required a lot of time and effort.  But, it was incredibly powerful for me to do it. I have no idea how or if my letter(s) touched many of the people I wrote to because I asked them not to feel the need to ever respond.  The gift of affection was from me with nothing expected in return.  (By the way I am doing this again this year with a new set of names and a new set of letters and cards to send each day!)  Try this yourself and see what happens.  It might just start a domino chain reaction – kind of like a “Love Train” if you will!

“People all over the world join hands
Start a love train, love train…
Don’t you know that it’s time to get on board…
Please don’t miss the train at the station
‘Cause if you miss it, I feel sorry, sorry for you”

Lyrics by The O’Jays
“Love Train”

To actively loving…

Please check out Living in Perfect Harmony’s Facebook Fanpage each day this month for more on Love.

Photo Credit: Kristin Vining Photography

As I wrote a few months back in a blog post titled, The Power Of Color, it is important to let the colors you use in your homespace accurately express who and what you are.  No two homes should remotely look the same.  Homes should be as unique as those that dwell within them.  My own daughter-in-law, Kathleen Brami Aliff is the epitome of understanding this.  Her home doesn’t keep up with the trends.  Her home reflects her personality through and through.  Kathleen loves Red.  Kathleen sees Red as a means of expressing who she is.  And so, Kathleen’s love of red flows throughout her entire home whether it is shown in full bloom as a backdrop (as in wall color) or in splashes of it in fabrics and accessories artfully placed in every room.

RED:  The warmest of colors, Red symbolizes passion, energy and excitement.  It is often the color chosen by extreme extroverts for self-expression.

From little girl to grown woman

Loving Pink

I have been planning to write about Kathleen’s love of Red ever since my early blog posts on color.  In fact, after The Power Of Color, I wrote a post on the color Purple and “The Purple Lady” (aka Lisa Hensley) titled, She Loves The Color Purple.  Like Lisa, Kathleen knows what makes her feel good.  And, like Lisa, I interviewed Kathleen for this article to get a glimpse into her psyche about her love of red.

What I found out was really interesting.  Here I thought I pretty much knew what made my daughter-in-law tick.  Yeah sure, the color Red matches her but, I never knew how or why she “morphed” into this color when in actuality most of her life her color of choice was Pink.

“All the way through high school I was in love with Pink.  I even used to wear Pink.  I wore Pink all the time.  After I met Ben he asked me to quit wearing it so much and so for me, Red seemed a classy, grown-up version of Pink.  Now Red is my statement color.  It is my signature color.  I love shoes and shoes in my view look better in red.”

That’s what Kathleen told me.  Wow, I thought, who knew?  Red was Kathleen’s metamorphosis of Pink – the grown-up version of her.  Very interesting.

So, let me give you the psychological slant on all this.  The color Red speaks to creativity.  It is sexy, powerful and full of energy.  Make no bones about it – Red catches your eye.  Period.

Yep, the color Red matches my daughter-in-law to a tee ~ confident, outgoing, and full of attitude.  Feisty she is and so her love of red absolutely, positively outwardly fits her personality.

Express yourself

Quite naturally then when Kathleen and Ben got married her love of Red influenced their homespace.

The boldness of Red

It’s all about details

“Every room has something red in it.  Whether it is the wall color, a pot or a plant.  Even for Christmas this year one of my gifts to Ben was something red for his “man cave”.  So now even that room will have touches of my love of red in it.”

Red jazzes it up

For someone visiting their home, no doubt Red speaks to you in each room even if in subtle ways.  What I love as a decorator is how well she has pulled it off.  Her homespace is comfy cozy and yet, very unique.

That’s what we all should strive for in our own homes.  Self-expression makes or breaks the true beauty of your space.  If your space does not match who and what you are, the energy of the space will be off.  It’s just that simple.

Everyone should have a decorating mantra that goes like this:

Express yourself.  Just do it.  Express yourself.

Kathleen has and loves to show it!

Photo Credit: Kristin Vining Photography

To loving color…

Important messages come to me from the oddest places.   Some of the messages are good and some well, suffice it to say, not so good.  Here’s an example of a good one – I remember when I first began my blog I had numerous articles written and ready yet, I still couldn’t find the words for my opening post that in my view would best explain what I meant by my tag line – Everything begins in the home.  I fretted and fretted for weeks trying to come up with just the right words.  Then I attended my niece, Britney’s wedding and voila, the words were said out loud to me.  Funny- I had been searching for the words in my head – little did I know that I would hear them from someone else.  I remember I felt cold chills come over me when the words started from the lips of Reverend Bob McAden.  A voice in my head said, “Listen up Jamie.  Here are the words you have been searching for”.  I listened and boy oh boy, they certainly were the words I needed.  So, once more thank you Rev. McAden for the words you spoke and then allowed me to share in my blog post, The Sacredness Of Home.  They were (and still are) the perfect words to explain and express the importance of HOME.

Anyway, I had another one of those messages this past Saturday and at the oddest place – the movies!  Here I was thinking I would sit back and be entertained.  Oh no, not this time around – this “not so good” message was meant to teach me I still had work to do on myself.

The Man in the Mirror

The movie, Joyful Noise started out normal enough but something came over me when the Michael Jackson song, Man In The Mirror began to be sung by the incredibly gifted singer-actress, Keke Palmer.  I felt goose bumps begin to erupt, I felt the pulsations in my body of recognition that it was time to focus and I felt the overwhelming knowledge that I was supposed to listen up to every single word…

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror

I’m asking him to change his ways…

If you wanna make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself and then make the change”

Hearing those words brought me a flashback of this past Christmas Eve.  My David and I spent the entire Christmas Eve day in downtown Chicago.  Being home alone we thought that this would be a fun and different way to spend the day so we rode the train into the city and went exploring.  We walked and walked and walked.  It was cold and windy so we both had on heavy coats, scarves, hats and gloves.  While walking down Rush Street a man approached me and asked for my spare change.  Ever the polite southern woman I answered him, “No thank you”.  After all, I was walking briskly in the cold and would have had to take my gloves off to get to my purse to get to my spare change – way too much time and trouble.  Well, I didn’t think another thing about it until about ten minutes later the man was ahead of us on the street talking to another gentleman.  He turned to me and said, “I want you to know I don’t ask people for money all the time.  I just recently lost my job.  You don’t need to be sorry for not giving me yours”.  I was mortified to say the least.  Had I seen my reflection in the mirrored storefronts I passed, I am sure my cheeks would have been red.  But the real shock came two blocks later when we crossed the street and headed in a different direction.  At the intersection David watched the man continue down the street and then stop to talk to a homeless woman.  David watched him take all the money from his pockets and give it to the woman (clearly someone that needed it more than he did) and then walk away. When David told me this, I was stunned and truly humbled.  Here I was busy on my way (on Christmas Eve no less) and I didn’t take the time to give my money to a down and out man on the street when just a few minutes later he gave what he had to someone less fortunate.  It was all I could do to keep walking and not run for the nearest alleyway to privately shed tears of shame and sorrow.  Would I have liked to see myself in a mirror at that moment in time?   Not hardly!

Cleaning my own mirror

So when Keke Palmer sang the words I realized change (actually more change) needed to begin with me.  I needed to look in the mirror, take a look at myself and make a change.  W.O.W.  Here I was comfortably sitting in the movie theatre, “convalescing” from a grueling few weeks of immense stress with the assumption that I had “prevailed” through all the trials and tribulations of the last five years, wanting to relax and enjoy a hit musical-movie.  Yet somehow I was being reminded of Christmas Eve in downtown Chicago in a not so flattering way.  I could visualize the man on Rush Street in total detail.  I even remember the homeless lady- she was wearing a white coat and carrying all her belongings in a grocery cart.

Hearing the words of this song put so much into perspective for me.  The words brought on a myriad of thoughts to ponder and truth be told – many of which might take years to work through.

• Everyone has their own vantage point from which they view life.
• The way we present ourselves to the world must always reflect our true selves.
• Mirrors reflect our true colors not the black and white we perceive.
• To inspire change in others we must first change ourselves as thoroughly and effectively as we can.
• Actions speak louder than words.
• Love is the most important verb in the English language.

I’m not sure where I am going with all this newfound insight.  I just know that besides carrying small bottles of hand sanitizer with me everywhere I go, I will also carry small bottles of Windex in case I ever lose “clear sight” of the reflection others see of me in my words and actions.  Moving forward I want to “clearly” see my true self in the mirror and at the same time I want to present to my family, my friends, my fellow human beings and my earth home the true reflection of who I am.  And, in each and every moment of each and every day I need to be mindful of the power I have as an individual to inspire change in the world.  Let it begin with me as I clean the mirror.

“And no message could have been any clearer

If you wanna make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself and then make the change”

Is there anything negative in my house I would like to change?  Is there something  I do over and over again like a bad habit that really bugs me?

Is there room for improvement in a particular area of my homespace ?

My guess is you can answer YES to at least one of these questions.

Maybe you procrastinate about taking down holiday decorations  even when another holiday is right around the corner.  Maybe dirty laundry stays piled on the floor.  Maybe those dust bunnies have grown into dust monsters.  Maybe you have never removed the sofa cushions from you sofa for a good vacuuming (this one is gross!).  I have seen all of these bad habits time and again.

I am often amazed at the sense of style people feel it necessary to present to the external world while neglecting the truly important world right inside their homes.  This is in the form of how they wear their hair, how they dress and what type of car they drive.  All the while homes get neglected.

So, do you want to change?

Did you know that scientists believe it takes about 21 days to change a habit?  This is because we naturally resist change.

21 days…

That means change will need intention.  Change will need focus.  Change will need discipline.  Change will need time.

Time takes time.

But you are worth it.  Each time you conquer another bad habit it empowers you to conquer another.  Slowly but surely your homespace shows positive change.

You can do it!

Your homespace deserves it!

One thought…

A beautiful home impacts your mood and behavior.

Conquer those bad habits.

Cheers!

Because of some necessary travel to Charlotte, NC next week and all it entails, travel there for the holidays was just flat not an option.  So, there went being with my kids, grandchildren and God’s Littlest Angel.  That’s one tradition down the tubes.  Decorating for Christmas?  I must confess I decided not to do that either.  I left my entire collection of Nutcrackers, my collection of Santa’s and all my sentimental Christmas tree ornaments in their boxes in the basement.   All I did was put a simple wreath on the front door and a Menorah  (yes, my darling David is Jewish) on the antique side table in our kitchen.

Our front door décor

Why did I ignore all the trappings of Christmas this year?   Not even listen to any Christmas music either at home or in my car?  Funny thing – in mentally and emotionally preparing for next week I knew I needed to be still.  I needed to be quiet.  I needed no distractions.  So I decided not to indulge in any part of the traditional preparations for Christmas and instead use the time to reflect on the true meaning of the season.

Joy of all joys, I absolutely, positively celebrated Christmas and what it truly means.

I focused on PEACE.  PEACE for myself and PEACE for people everywhere.

Now don’t get me wrong.  The Friday before Christmas Eve I embarked on a very long morning of sitting on my pity pot.  It didn’t help to talk to my sister-in-law, Becky and hear her excitement at this being the first year in a long while that all three of her boys, wives, fiancés and their dogs would be home for the holiday.  Or hearing my sister, Mary Ann shout with glee on the phone that every single Christmas present was wrapped and ready and family was already arriving to start the holiday weekend.  Or hearing that God’s Littlest Angel was walking and here I was in Chicago missing it all.  Or, most of all, that my very own baby, my youngest son, Jimmy had become engaged to a wonderful woman (Lailuma) and I wouldn’t get to celebrate quite yet with them live and in person.  Text pictures of her engagement ring didn’t do the ring justice I’m sure!  Ugh… the pity pot sure got worn out that morning!

Second night of Hanukkah

I tired of sitting on the pity pot though.  So, I picked myself up, chilled a bottle of Veuve Cliequot for the evening and did what my heart, mind and body always craves – I went to nature.  While walking in nature I reflected on the real side of things.   The real side was this – I realized that I was thankful to have had the wherewithal to use the entire month of December for total quiet and stillness.  With so much free time on my hands not devoted to the hustle-bustle of Christmas preparations, I gained so much insight.  I want to share with you what I pondered, reflected on and learned over this last holiday season I chose to celebrate without all the glitter.  And in the words of what many hosts say when announcing the winner on TV Shows like X Factor; I list the lessons learned and/or reflected on “in no particular order”:

• Like Dorothy in The Wizard Of Oz I have found that HOME has been here for me all along.  I don’t have to be “home” in Charlotte with my kids and grandkids to have them at home in my heart.  My heart home is always there ready to embrace them unconditionally wherever I be, wherever they be.
• I can really focus on the essence of Christmas without all the fluff, commercialism and festivities and wonder of wonders; it is awesome to do this.
• In loving and living with a Jewish man I can appreciate that mankind benefits most with an attitude of inclusivity and not exclusivity.
• The true meaning of the Christmas season is PEACE.  No true peace can come without forgiveness of oneself, of others and of humanity as well.
• As much as I love music and in particular, Christmas music – Silence is Golden for it is in the moments of silence that we hear what we really, truly need to hear.
• I have learned on a whole new level what it means to live simply.
• Traditions won’t go away if you choose not to observe them on occasion.
• Memories never fade.
• Feeling lonely is a choice.
• Life is to be lived actively loving oneself, others and all mankind.
• PEACE requires action.
• Actions speak louder than words.
• The truth, ohhhh the sweet, wonderful truth will absolutely, positively set you free.

Happy New Year everyone!  May 2012 bring you wisdom.  Oh, and may it also bring you the courage to use it!

I have to admit I thought this would be a fun thing to do for the Blog.  But, as with most things that happen, I got so much more than interesting info from each person.  I got a wonderful glimpse into their personal lives that not only told me much more about who they are and what makes them tick but, I also got laughs at visualizing some of what they wrote, much to ponder from some of their thought provoking responses and to sum it up – I got a real sense of peace and joy reading their words.  Read for yourself and I hope your heart is filled with joy and laughter as well.

Susan Muehl

1954, Jane and Susan visit Santa Claus at Santa Claus Land

My favorite childhood holiday memories and what the season now means to me as an adult seem to have blurred lines!  As a child, I thought it was magic!  It was all about our Christmas traditions.  Before Christmas, our mother would take my twin sister and me to Santa Claus Land in Santa Claus, Indiana.  That’s where we got to speak to Santa about what we’d like for Christmas and ride the rides at the park.  Also before Christmas we would get dressed up and go Christmas shopping in downtown Louisville with our mother and while there, we would view the department store windows decorated for the holidays.  The days leading up to Christmas and the few days after were all about going out to visit friends and family, or they came to see us.  My mother shared cookies and fudge she made.  This is also when we would drive around looking at Christmas lights.  Santa had a surprise he always left at our house ~ he would put a special gift on the beds of my sister and me.  We shared a bedroom so whoever woke up first would wake the other and we’d feel around our beds in the dark for the gift which we could unwrap right then.  Now as an adult many of the same traditions remain.  When my daughter was little, Santa also left her a special gift in her bed each Christmas and it thrilled her as much as it did me when I was young.  We established a new tradition in our family and it was choosing a name from the “giving tree” at a local department store and purchasing gifts for that child.  My daughter enjoyed doing that each year ~ she loved trying to find a little girl who seemed a lot like her based on the gift requests.  Nowadays, I still love to look at Christmas lights ~ the more lights the better!  As a photographer, I’ve enjoyed photographing some of my favorite houses over the years and have a special photo album of “the best of the best” which comes out each Christmas.  Spending time with my family and friends at Christmas time is still important to me.  Everybody seems so much busier these days, but when we can take the time to visit, it’s always special.  I enjoy seeing everyone’s homes decorated for the holidays and sharing mine, as well as sharing fudge (from my mother’s recipe) and cookies I have made.  The Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas morning gift opening with my husband, daughter and son-in-law is a special time each year which I always look forward to.  I have never outgrown the magic of Christmas!

Patti Baron Schreiber

Wow!  It’s hard to pick just one favorite holiday memory from my childhood because my family was so steeped in traditions and they all centered on home.  First came the decorating – it was the same decorations every year and they went in the same location but there was such comfort and joy in pulling the little elf out and setting him on the table or seeing the same ornaments nestled in their boxes, waiting to be hung on the tree.  Christmas Eve began with me setting out a plate of homemade cookies and a glass of milk for Santa.  Then came a visit to my Grandma Martha’s house, where all of my Dad’s brothers, sisters (7!), their spouses and children gathered in a very small space with the men drinking Blackberry Brandy and all of us eating Grandma’s homemade bread.  Magically, when we returned home, Santa had arrived!  Piles of presents were under the tree – quickly placed there by Mom before we left for grandma’s house while Dad and I impatiently waited in the car wondering what she could be doing in there.  After the present opening, we were off to Midnight Mass followed by an open house for anyone who wanted to stop by for ham sandwiches, salads and a dessert buffet.

I have continued many of these same traditions with my own children when they were young and now that they are teenagers; it’s fun to see which traditions are important to them.  Decorating and cookie making are at the top of the list.  This year we can hardly wait to make our special frosted cutout cookies, as we didn’t get to eat any of the time and labor intensive treats last year.  After making the dough, cutting them out, baking and decorating them (a two day affair), my oldest child decided her siblings were hogging the cookies so she hid the plastic bin in the oven.  A short time later, flames erupted in the oven, smoke poured from the vents and the plastic had melted all over the oven and the cookies.  I’m still missing the bottom oven rack which is covered in molded plastic but there’s no doubt in my mind the memory of THAT moment will live on in our minds and give us some good laughs in the coming years.

Jennie Stockslager

When I think of Christmas as a child, I keenly remember making gifts (cigar boxes encrusted with elbow macaroni sprayed gold), wrapping gifts (proud that my mom trusted me) and making millions of cookies – all fun, all exciting.  But I remember, too that at some point during my high school years, I was grateful that the fun and excitement were sustained much longer than usual in our home, all because two little brothers, Rich and Bill, were born when I was 11 and 14, respectively.  The tinsel would have lost its shine for the three older siblings- myself, Chuck and Connie – but because we had two little ones in the house, we were swept into their vortex of believing, which was the best gift ever – and not to be repeated until I had children of my own.

As an adult, I can find myself so overwhelmed with the holidays that if I’m not careful, I start to think of all the decorating, buying, wrapping and addressing cards as a “part-time” job.  At times like this, I recognize that I need to get “real”.  “Real” means getting quiet with myself for as little as five minutes – meditating, journaling, listening to Christmas music, sipping on a cup of chai tea, looking at the snow falling on the twinkle-lighted trees in our yard – anything that helps me remember the truth: I don’t “have” to do anything; I “get” to do the things I choose.  This reality brings me back to the present moment; it slows my mind down…and helps me once again see life as a child.  All possibility.  All magic.  All a gift.

Lindsay Torry

Awaiting His Birth

Having been given the task of sharing my favorite holiday memory, I’ve spent the last couple of weeks racking my brain, going through them all mentally and changing my mind over and over again about which to share. I mean, there are just SO MANY! However, the answer came to me today as I was watching my children decorate gingerbread houses at my grandparents. My youngest daughter is only two years old, so we are in the really fun stage of exploring every aspect of the holiday season: introducing her to the decorations, lights, music, and that odd, robust old man in the red suit. Today at my grandparents’ house I made a point of showing her one of my favorite Christmas decorations, an antique ceramic nativity set. Now I realize that just about every Christian household has at least one nativity set of some sort, but this one was special. Even as a small child I recognized its delicate beauty, with its soft warm colors and fragile elegance. But the thing that made this nativity unique was the baby Jesus. He wasn’t fixed in the manger like in most modern nativities. No, this baby Jesus didn’t make his presence known until Christmas morning! Every time we went to visit, I would go almost immediately to check his status, anxiously awaiting him in his absence, and always making sure he was there if Christmas had come already. I truly anticipated his arrival! Now, even as an adult, every year I go to admire the nativity and note his absence or presence.

He is born

Today was no different as I pointed out all of the figures of the set to my daughter. It occurred to me just how very cool this idea is: withholding the baby Jesus from the manger until the morning of his birthday celebration. What a fun way to anticipate his arrival and keep the focus on the true reason for the holiday season! As an adult, each year it has disgusted me a little more how ridiculously commercialized and really off base our society has allowed Christmas to become. It’s more than a little ironic that a season originally about the spirit of giving has become more about getting the best deal and the biggest gifts. Today I was listening to a local radio station that plays all Christmas music during this time of year, and it dawned on me that of the 10 or so songs I had heard, not a single one mentioned Jesus. Sometimes it feels as though he’s been lost in the hustle bustle, that so many people like to take advantage of the decorating, partying, and gift getting, yet don’t ever get to the heart of the matter. Needless to say, after today’s realization I will be searching out a nativity set with a removable baby Jesus for my own home! And I will look forward to sharing in the excitement of Jesus’ arrival year after year with my own children and hopefully, one day, grandchildren!

Sammi Blake

After having thought about this for several weeks, it is still hard to zero in on what my favorite holiday memory is of when I was a child.  And, as an adult thinking back, I realize that my favorite holiday traditions as a child are the same ones I have now.  I still hold near and dear to my heart the traditions I had as a child.  Four of them stick out in my mind though.  I loved baking Christmas cookies, the annual punch-out chocolate Advent calendar, decorating the tree and riding around on Christmas Eve to see the luminaries.

Each year growing up we spent two solid days making and baking cookies.  We made at least eight- dozen.  I remember my mom and I both wearing our aprons.  Every single year my mom would say the same thing to me and I learned to look forward to it.  She would say, “You are the messiest baker I have ever known”.  Once we baked all the cookies we would wrap them up and give them as gifts to our neighbors and friends.

Our yearly Advent calendar took careful planning to figure out the days each of us kids got to pop a chocolate.  As an adult, I still like getting one for my stepchildren to enjoy.

And, oh the Christmas tree!  Every year our Christmas tree was decorated with ornaments we had made ourselves.  The rest of the ornaments were from my mom’s childhood.  It was the most wonderful feeling pulling all the ornaments out of their boxes one by one.  Each one we would stop and talk about.  I can still hear the tingle of the old rusty bell that was my mother’s when she was a child.  Decorating the tree was wonderful and I remember we took such time and care into placing the ornaments on the tree.  Now as an adult, I take the same joy, love and care in decorating our tree.

The luminaries were lit in neighborhoods near where we lived every Christmas Eve.  After church and dinner we used to ride around as a family to see the lights.  We would always turn Christmas music on the radio and we usually drove around in silence so that we could each reflect on the true meaning of Christmas.  I especially loved going up and down the hills, as the brilliance from all the luminaries was truly majestic.

Christmas is a wonderful time of the year and I look forward to all that it brings.

Crystal Balzer

Ryleigh and Blake with Buddy Rudolph

The Christmas Season as a child and even now as an adult brings me much joy!  I love the smells, the decorations and even the shopping!  Although now as a mother I must admit- my favorite part is creating memories and traditions for my children.  Some of my favorite Christmas memories from my childhood would have to be spending Christmas Eve with my dad (my parents are divorced so this was a special time) and always opening my stocking last (I have carried this tradition on with my own children, after all, the stocking is the best part with each treasure wrapped- it is amazing what you can stuff inside a stocking).  Now with a family of my own we have added a couple more traditions.  We make reindeer food and spread it across the lawn on Christmas Eve so the reindeer know what house to stop at.  We also have an Elf on the Shelf.  The children named our elf, “Buddy Rudolph”.  He arrives each year on December 1^st.  He flies to Santa each night telling him how the kids have behaved and when he returns he hides in a different location.  The children rush around in the morning to see who can find him first.  I also have each child pick a gift and we donate it to the Toys For Tots Program.  It is a joy to watch them choose a gift so carefully, each considering what another child their age would like.  It is my hope that when they grow up they will remember the fun, simple traditions we have as a family and even carry them on in their own.

Making reindeer food

Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you have enjoyed these glimpses into Christmas memories and traditions.  Now I wish for all of you the true peace and joy that comes with Christmas.  See you next year!