Little Miss Blake

I love everything about Home Decor and love to create unique environments.  In particular, I love to design and decorate nurseries and children’s’ rooms.  Not only are they fun, but they’re also a space that most of my clients are willing to “let go in” and let me be really, really creative.  I’ve done my share of nurseries and children’s rooms over the years in my career.  From baby boys to baby girls, “tweens” and teens – I’ve had fun with every single one regardless of the style or theme being incorporated into the design.  But I must say, nothing beats getting to be involved in someone I love’s room – like my first grandchild’s! My daughter, Sammi was expecting in December of 2010 so together we planned the nursery.  Even my daughter-in-law, Kathleen had input into it.  Team effort for sure!

We had several goals in mind for the design of the nursery that incorporated key parts of my personal design philosophy.  They were to:

• Create a unique environment
• Use colors and elements of Nature
• Plan it so that the décor would transition and provide a space for Ansley to grow in

Magnolia Blossoms as wall art

I don’t believe any two spaces should look alike which is why I say I like to create unique environments.  Ever one to say “Ignore the trends”, I prefer to design space with real personal touches.  That’s what really, really makes the space unique.  We accomplished this by decorating with things such as some of the Vintage collections both Sammi and Brent had as children (like their silver baby pieces and Sammi’s music boxes) to a framed “Onesie” Sammi’s gal pal, Blair Kernodle Scheepers gave her that was hand-stitched in South Africa where she lives.  Having this “Onesie” as wall art in Ansley’s nursery not only connects Sammi and Blair on a daily basis, but it is a piece that Ansley will always have to historically mark her infant days as well.  (She actually wore the “Onesie” and when she outgrew it, we had it framed.)  Seriously, I hope to one day see this piece in Ansley’s own home!

The Frog Prince

Using colors and elements from Nature is important to us and we are mindful of this in every space we work in.  So, the walls were painted Green (the color of Nature as I discussed in my posts, Using The Color Green In Home Décor and Two Colors Every Homespace Needs) and we created a wall of flowers as art for the space by using plates shaped like magnolia blossoms with hand-painted stems.  A shadowbox of hand-cut butterflies on the wall near her crib also connects the nursery to nature.  Finally, we added “The Frog Prince” sitting on the ledge of the door so that Ansley could connect with the natural world in a wonderfully whimsical way.

Sammi and I both are practical decorators and so creating a space that could transition to her “big girl” room easily was important to us.  Of course, every nursery needs a crib.  But, everything else in the room can transition to any age.  For example, the “changing table” is actually a dresser.  Simply remove the changing pad and it becomes a dresser for a big girl to put her clothes in.  And, my fave part of the room is the hand-painted initials on the wall.  The look of the initials is fabulous and really anchors the space, but once the crib is gone, voila – the initials become the “headboard” for Ansley’s big girl bed.

As a changing table

As a dresser

A view of the hand-painted Initials

Ansley is nearing the ripe old age of eighteen months now.  I love nothing more than to sit on her nursery floor and have her bring books to me to read to her or to play peek-a-boo as she hides behind her crib.  I have no doubt that she is blossoming within her nursery nest.  And, I have no doubt she will continue to as she grows up still enjoying the décor of her space.  After all, her nest gives her plenty of room in which to grow!

Design Choices and Credits

Crib: Bratt Décor

Dresser: Furniture Classics, LTD

Lamp on Dresser: Thumprints

Hand-cut Butterflies: Found on Etsy

Crib Skirt Fabric: Bergamo

Stool Fabric: Zimmer+Rohde

Window Treatment Fabric: Bergamo

Custom Crib Skirt and Window Treatments: Laurel Lane Draperies

Rocker Fabric: Kravet

Custom Upholsterer: Privette’s Upholstery

Custom Corner Cabinet: Haefele & Associates

Magnolia Blossom Plates: Global Views

Artistic Painting: CKPaints (www.ckpaints.com)

Modern Artwork: Allposters

Custom Framing of Modern Artwork: Campania Fine Molding

Wall Color: Benjamin Moore 2147-40 “Dill Pickle”

Photography of all Images: Cameron Triggs Photography

To blossoming in life…

I’ve experienced Domestic Violence.  It’s what I call an “Emotional Cancer” that eats away at your very core and if not properly addressed will cause you to die a slow death from the toll on your heart and soul.  Certainly, this cancer can strike and cause a physical death as well.  Whatever course it takes, it’s a sickness to your HOME.  I hope that those of you that are taking the time to read this (even out of curiosity) really, really let my words envelope you in a way that you will forever more understand that no one, no how, nowhere should accept Domestic Violence.  Period.  Furthermore, after reading this if you or someone you know falls in this category, for heavens sake take action.  Do not stay silent or pretend ignorance.

Just so you know, October is the month designated for “Domestic Violence Awareness”.  For months now I’ve been ruminating in my head a post to write next October, but something keeps nudging me, whispering in my ear, “Write it now”.  And so, I am.  When the voice whispers, I take action!

I’m thinking a combination of things (nudges) propelled me to write this now and not wait until October.  For one thing, a Facebook Friend (and Blog reader), Maggie wrote something on her wall the other day about Domestic Violence.  I shocked myself with commenting back and saying I had experienced it myself.  And lately the news has been full of incidences that the legal experts say are clear cases of Domestic Violence, the current murder trial of Jennifer Hudson’s family for one.

Domestic Violence:  Behavior used by one person in a relationship to control the other.  Partners may be married or not; heterosexual, gay or lesbian; living together, separated or dating.

Facts about Domestic Violence

(Disclaimer:  All these facts are ones I have taken from various articles I have researched over the years and are in my own words and really hit home for me.  The Internet is full of articles, facts, statistics and information far more thorough than this post contains.  I urge everyone to become more educated about this blight on humanity.)

• Domestic violence has no boundaries and occurs among people of all races, ages, socio-economic classes, religious affiliations, occupations and educational backgrounds.
• Many abusers learned violent behavior growing up in an abusive family.
• Domestic Violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the U.S.
• 1 in 4 women will experience Domestic Violence at some point in their lives.
• 1 in 12 women and 1 in 45 men have been stalked at some time in their lives.
• Domestic violence against men, often referred to as “The Hidden Crime”, occurs far more than reported.  There are more than 200 survey-based studies that show that domestic violence is just as likely to strike men as women.
• Warning signs include (but are not limited to):
• Name-calling or put-downs
• Threats of violence
• Stopping a partner from keeping or getting a job
• Intimidation
• Physical Assault
• Stalking

My Story

I fit in the description of many of the above facts and signs of domestic violence.  First of all, I was in a dating relationship.  My abuser and I never lived in the same household.  After becoming separated and subsequently divorced from my husband of almost twenty years, you can say I was ripe for the picking.  Seriously, I think I had an invisible (yet visible for clever creeps) sign on my forehead that read:  S.U.C.K.E.R.

Devastated to be dumped, feeling lonely, old, ugly, deflated, discarded, unlovable, unlikable and most importantly, incomplete – I was charmed by the first man that was nice to me.  And believe it or not, I had known this man on a very casual basis for several years.  He was kind, compassionate, and attentive and pushed all the right buttons.  Once he had me hook, line and sinker the ugliness began.  Honestly, it shocked me.  If was as if I had entered this place called “Hell” and I felt like I was wrapped up in this vortex and couldn’t figure out how to escape.  I’ll never forget going to the Magistrate’s Office to file a complaint.  I was told by the clerk that I could go upstairs and for $5.00 get a print-out of any arrest record he might have.  Arrest record?  Seriously?  I can still hear the copying machine click, click, click for each new page it printed off and if memory serves me right, there were 15 pages in all.  Paperwork, court appearances and a lot of heartache were the prelude to getting a Restraining Order.  At the time I was told it was the strictest Order ever issued in my county.

Now mind you, I could give you some really sordid details of all the ugliness.  Suffice it to say I have hidden under my bed afraid to move a muscle when the doorbell has rung, I have come home to find my telephone lines cut, I have found my water hoses ever so perfectly sliced clean away from the spigots,, my boys have been accused of trying to kill this man, my home has been invaded and trashed, co-worker’s lives have been threatened, my car has been damaged, etc.  All of these things and countless more my clever creep knew how to do so I couldn’t prove anything!  Then there was the horrific embarrassment of it all.  The shame.  Oh, and most of all- the gut-wrenching fear.  For safety I learned to shoot a gun and by the way, I abhor the very thought of violence.  I took the classes to get licensed to carry a concealed weapon and slept with a loaded gun by my bed for two years. And believe you me; I knew where to aim my gun – straight for the heart.

For years after things would trigger me and I would cringe in absolute fear – the rev of a motorcycle, an unknown number calling my phone, David calling me one too many times wondering where I was (when I met him I required his Social Security Number) – you name it, somehow I would go back to the fear mode and freak out.  In fact, I later learned that I was experiencing Post-Traumatic Stress over and over and over.  (A therapy known as EMDR -Therapy really helped with the trauma.)

A Victor, not a Victim

All of this was back around 1998, and I have to say I’ve come a long way baby!  On any given day I’m tossing my Mary Tyler Moore Hat in the air while singing, “I am woman hear me roar”.  Then I go to the kitchen and make cookies in my fave apron – a complete woman loving who she is!  I’ve worked hard to heal and I have much to be thankful for.  People like Andy Molatch (now a retired policeman) made me feel safe.  (By the way, check his ministry out on his website, www.wildernessscout.com) I also began group therapy at a Battered Women’s Shelter.  I will forever be indebted to what I learned every Monday night.  I can still remember the one time in a group discussion I felt like each of us was holding in our laps an invisible “How To Abuse” Manual because our stories were so similar.  There we were, a group of about twenty women, some in residence and most like me, coming on our own to meet and talk through our experiences.  In my group I still remember there being an Architect, a Licensed Psychologist, a Graphic Artist, and a Minister’s wife.  Yep, there we all were – a cross-section of America all with the same story and all on the road to recovery.

I call myself a “Victor” and not a “Victim” as it’s the truth and besides, it rings with a positive note.  I chose to get out of the relationship, I chose to love myself and I chose to heal from it.   I learned through this experience (and a few others like the chance encounter on an airplane I’ve written about in several posts such as, Construction Zone: Rehabbing My HOME) that I am a vessel for my Soul and therefore, I honor it in every way that I can.  I also now understand that seeking completion through someone else makes no sense.  I became complete in myself and then, only then could someone “compliment” me.  (My David does a stellar job of complimenting me!)

Remember my post, Houseless Not Homeless?  My dear friend, Kenny was a victim of abuse and thank God, he left.  Victory for Kenny!  I have another friend, John that left a fifteen-year marriage because his wife was abusive.  Victory for John!  Both of these men have shared their stories with me and they are now part of what I share with others whenever I am asked to speak to groups about Domestic Violence, something I feel honored to do.

Everything begins in the home

It’s true; everything really does begin in the home.  How we treat each other and yes, how we allow ourselves to be treated starts right smack dab in the home.  In order for your HOME to be peaceful and harmonious, you have to say no to Domestic Violence.  I did.  Kenny did.  John did.  It’s that simple.

Love yourself.  Love your neighbor.  Love the earth.  Come on people, climb aboard the Love Train.  There’s plenty of room.

To saying no…

One of my favorite things about spring is that the Strawberry fields begin to bloom and by late April and May beautiful red berries are ready to be picked.  Throughout the years my children were growing up, I took them strawberry picking every year that I could.  Dressed in our grungiest clothes and shoes (besides strawberry stains being a hassle, the fields are notoriously muddy) we would make an outing to pick strawberries.  Once home I would make jam from much of what we picked and of course, we’d eat them for days popping them into our mouths, mixed with other fruits for breakfast or as the crowning glory for dessert.

Heading to the fields

Something comes over me when I arrive at a farm to pick strawberries.  I’m giddy, excited and oddly nervous – clearly full of mixed emotions.  I’m giddy with knowing the sheer fun I’ll have, but the excitement about getting to pick mixes with worry that too many people will show up and “crowd” my space in this wonderful task.  You see, I like to imagine myself in the fields as if I’m Laura Ingalls on the prairie; picking berries so that Ma can make dessert for dinner.  Or that Mary and I (Laura’s sister) can take some of our own delicious strawberries in our baskets and go sit under the tree by the banks of Plum Creek and just laze the day away eating till our tummies and hearts are full.  (By the way, somehow Melissa Gilbert’s exposed Tattoos on DWTS just ruin my Laura image!)  I’m much this same way at Christmas Tree Farms, Pumpkin Patches and other “Pick your own Farms”.  So what I have to do is chatter inside my head to myself to remember to just enjoy the moment and not worry about how many strawberries I can take home.  After all, I can always go again!

At work

This year I’ve already been strawberry picking and I have to say, it’s the best time amongst the strawberry plants I’ve ever had.  Why?  This year I got to go with my granddaughter, Ansley (God’s Littlest Angel).  Oh and we did let her mom, Sammi go, too by the way.  I happened to be in Charlotte working and so we set aside this particular morning for the simple pleasure of picking strawberries.  Now Ansley’s only seventeen months old so, we had no idea what to expect of her in the fields – especially since we opted NOT to take the stroller. But Good Golly Miss Molly, the child is a reincarnation of Laura Ingalls.  She knew Just. What. To. Do.  Totally serious about the work, she picked and picked – OK, she also ate and ate.  Sammi figured she ate at least 30 juicy strawberries.  But, she was precious to watch.  Ever so gently she would pick the berry and then plop it into the basket.  Each berry she put in the basket brought a smile to her face as if she was saying, “Ta Da, I did it just right.”   So, this wonderful excursion to the strawberry fields this year got me to thinking…

The time is Ripe

Having had such a wonderful time with both Sammi and God’s Littlest Angel, I knew it was a moment in the big picture of my life that I would always treasure.  I was reminded of a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr.

“The time is always ripe to do the right thing.”

Sure, the strawberries were ripe, but what was really ripe was the moment.  It was the right time to take the time to do the right thing – which was to spend time with my loved ones and especially not worry or obsess over who else drove up to the parking lot of the farm to pick strawberries, too.

And then it hit me.  The time really is always ripe to do the right thing.  We don’t have to wait.  For me, this means making the most of every single moment of every single day to do what is right in that moment.  Powerful words by a powerful man that I need to live by.  Think about it yourself and really digest the truth of this statement.  Yep, the time is always ripe to do the right thing.  We just have to do it.  Oh, and while writing this post I happened upon another wonderful quote, so perfect for this message about spending time with my granddaughter,

“Children are God’s Apostles, sent forth, day by day, to preach of love, hope and peace.“
James Russell Lowell

It’s true.  No matter what’s going on in the great big world, to a child it becomes condensed very simply to the moment and they are guided by a desire to love and yep, live in perfect harmony with those around them.  Hmmmmm…

Yum!

To grandchildren, the best dessert in life…

Anyway, back to visual cues.  Visual cues are a type of sensory cue that work on both the conscious mind as well as the sub-conscious mind to affect us in some way.  Some visual cues (such as the ones at the movies) are meant to entice on a short-term basis.  Others such as the arrows on elevators are meant to instruct.  (They still don’t properly instruct me!)  Regardless of what the visual cue is for, it’s clear that they affect us.

I’m sure most of you over the years have created visual cues in your homes.  If you have children you have at some point most likely posted “Potty Charts” or “Good Behavior Charts”. I had a doorframe in my house where we kept a penciled measuring chart of each of the kid’s growth progress as they grew.  Each line marked the new height and date.  It was wonderful to look at over the years and reminisce and then really, really hard to leave when we moved on to another space!

But, what I’m talking about is a much subtler form of visual cues and is actually part of your decor.  Meant to be part of the décor, these types of visual cues affect the subconscious level of the mind and make you feel good in ways you don’t realize.  Here are some great ways to decorate with visual cues to bring good vibes into your space:

• Have an area such as a decorative chalkboard to write daily inspirational messages to yourself, your family and guests.  My daughter-in-law, Kathleen painted the entire wall of her mudroom in chalkboard paint.  She writes her grocery list there, her “to do,” list, Ben’s “honey-do list” and friends can write fun comments on it when they visit.  This wall is like a living history wall of the goings on in the Aliff abode and continuously creates happiness.
• Display a collection that gives you instantaneous feel good vibes such as a wall of crosses.  Several of my nieces do this in their homes, a tradition passed down from their mother, Patty.  This “wall of crosses” has even spilled over into other family members homes such as my niece, Marli’s home.  What a lovely way to constantly observe one’s faith, reflect on it and feel the calmness wash over you!
• Find a decorative plaque of a positive quote that speaks personally to you and hang it somewhere in your space that you regularly see.  Or hang a piece of decorative art such as a clock I saw at a lake home recently.  The clock was stuck on 5:00.  Talk about instant smiles and instant relaxation.  (And thirst maybe?!?)
• Accessorize with decorative pillows that have special meaning to you.  Pillows with whimsical quotes are examples that bring on the smiles.

One of the most heartwarming visual cues I have seen in a long time is in the home of a family friend, Jennifer.  Jennifer lost her sister a few years ago and has memorialized her love for her with a frame that includes a quote about sisters.  It reads,

“Sisters…

           from childhood memories to grown up dreams”

Cameron Triggs Photography

This visual cue speaks volumes of love and every time I see it I smile and feel gentle chill bumps erupt all over my body – a sure sign from the heavens above if you ask me!

Marli’s wall of crosses

The sky’s the limit on ways to infuse affirming visual cues in your home décor.  After all, each and every one of us can use more positive in our lives.  Our homes are our sanctuaries, meant to vitalize and revitalize us for living in the outside world.  Take every opportunity to create feel good vibes in your space, subtle decorative visual cues being one of them. Your heart, mind, body and soul will thank you and your entire being will blossom from the wonderful surroundings.  I guarantee it!

To loving life…

Take Chocolate – or the love thereof…

My love affair with it began at a very early age.  My dad was a candyholic.  Weekend Saturday and Sunday nights were the best.  He would take us six kids to the store, buy himself and our mom their favorite candy bars (Clark Bar and Almond Joy) and then he would buy $1.00 worth of penny candy for the six of us.  Back home we would each get our own separate sandwich bag full of candy that we had anxiously watched him divide into six equal piles.  Then as a family we would watch TV – black and white of course!

Before long my dad began to fill the crystal bowl in our living room with Peanut M&M’s.  Well, besides Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Peanut M&M’s are my absolute fave.  Saturday mornings week after week and year after year I awoke first in my household, crept to the candy dish and removed a handful of these scrumptious treats.  Then I would go to the kitchen, pour myself a glass of milk, rush back to bed and blissfully read in silent heaven.  Nothing could be finer than chocolate, a warm, cozy bed and a good book to read!

As an adult in my own space I put in my head that part of making a comfy, cozy home was to have fresh baked goodies on hand.  (Must have been that June Cleaver thing.)  Now I have to admit, I’ve never been able to bake a cake- each and every one falls flat upon leaving the oven.  But, I can make a mean cookie – especially ones with chocolate chips.

So, I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to recently hear on the news how good chocolate is for us.  Too bad all those years ago no one asked me, as I would’ve been able to tell the experts. Chocolate makes me smile and makes my heart full and happy.  To this very day, my morning begins with 2 or 3 pieces of chocolate.  Let me tell you – the feel good vibes come rushing in!  Nirvana for sure!  So, now that it’s a health food, I feel it’s apropos for me to share my recipe for the best Chocolate Chip-Oatmeal Cookies ever.  And, as an added health benefit, I recommend all organic ingredients!

Without further adieu, here’s my recipe tweaked over the years to create heaven on earth:

Chocolate Chip-Oatmeal Cookies

Ready for baking

2 c. butter
2 c. sugar
2 c. brown sugar
4 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
4 c. flour
2 c. oatmeal
2 c. oat bran
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. baking soda
24 oz. chocolate chips

Cream together the butter and sugar.  Next add the eggs and vanilla, mixing well.  Add all the dry ingredients and again, mix well.  Stir in the chocolate chips.  Make into golf ball size shapes and place on an ungreased cookie sheet about 2 in. apart.  Bake at 350 degrees for 8 to 10 minutes.

Ready to enjoy

Helpful Hints:

• Use all organic ingredients.
• Remove cookies from the oven while slightly brown, as they will continue cooking on the cookie sheet while cooling.  (I like a slightly soft middle to my cookies.)
• These cookies freeze well and you can also freeze the cookie dough for future use.

For an extra treat:

Summertime Barbeques are a fun time to make your own homemade ice cream sandwiches.  Simply take two of these cookies, spread the top of one will softened ice cream and top it off with the other cookie.  Freeze until ready to serve.

To enjoying the chocolate part of life…

Green:

A secondary color on the color spectrum, Green is a blend of the primary colors of Yellow and Blue.  Green symbolizes Health, Well-being, Prosperity and Life.  Green is the color most favored by people in the helping and healing fields.

The psychology of Green

As I wrote in my post, The Power Of Color, the use of color is a form of non-verbal communication.  The color choices you make in your space greatly impact it and as I discussed in the post, colors not only symbolize certain feelings, they have the power to evoke certain feelings as well.

Studies have shown that Green has its own effects on us.  For example, using green creates a calming and soothing atmosphere.  Here are some other effects Green has on us:

• Helps to alleviate Depression
• Reduces Anxiety
• Reduces Fear
• Nurtures us
• Fills us with a sense of balance and harmony

It’s no wonder that many hospitals and medical establishments use Green as the color of choice for walls and fabrics!

Several people I know infuse shades of green in their own homespaces.  Oddly enough they are all in the medical field!  My childhood friend, Julie has soft sage walls in her dining room and splashes of green throughout her entire homespace.  A dedicated nurse and a person full of compassion for others, I’m not the least bit surprised that she loves Green.  Then there’s my dear friend Jolie.  She uses the color Green in her homespace and her office is furnished with beautiful green sofas and club chairs.  Immediately upon walking into her office you feel a sense of peace and calm – important for anyone that seeks out her medical expertise.  Last but not less, one of my niece’s, Jackie uses green in her home décor as well.  And yep, she’s also in the medical field- she’s a speech pathologist and in her personal life she’s always smiling, always upbeat and one that couldn’t hurt a fly!

So knowing that these three wonderfully caring individuals are drawn to the color Green gives me pause to consider the question of the chicken and the egg – you know, which came first?  Did a childhood love of green subconsciously draw each of them into career paths of helping and healing or vice versa?  Now, stay on the path of connecting the color Green with how we act and react and that flat brings out the wanna be psychologist in me and makes me say…

Go green in your space

Infuse the color Green in your homespace.  After all, if green can have positive effects on us, for heavens sake, we all should consciously incorporate it into our decor.  There are a myriad of ways you can do this without going over the top or ignoring the color palette that truly speaks to you such as incorporating it into throw pillows and accessories, but the easiest and for me the absolute best way to add the color Green to your space is with living plants.  Bringing green into your homespace in such a natural way by far changes the energy of your space – not to mention the health of your space (as discussed in a post, Top Twelve Best Indoor Plants For Purifying The Air).

Live green in your space

In recent years it has become the politically correct thing to go green by physically caring more for our environment in ways such as reducing water usage, reducing electrical usage, reducing gas consumption and of course, by recycling all that we can.  Our planet and humanity just cannot keep handling all our excesses, uses and abuses.  Every day the news gives us more ideas of how to physically care more for our environment.  But as a decorator and a homespace coach, what I call a “psychologist of the home”, I cannot stress enough the importance of psychologically caring more for our environment, what I call “living green”.  By going green in our home décor, we live green by reducing anxiety, feeling calmer, more peaceful and relaxed.  By going green we live green and can more easily live in perfect harmony within ourselves as well as with greater mankind.

Living green connects us to Nature

Richard Louv, author of the book, Last Child in the Woods and his most recent book, The Nature Principle, has some very compelling thoughts on the importance of nature in our lives.  He calls Nature the best tonic we can find and says,

“The more high-tech we become, the more nature we need.”

I emphatically agree with Mr. Louv and have learned this for myself.  There’s no better medicine for me than to get outdoors and connect with Nature.  That’s why I also know firsthand the importance of bringing nature indoors as much as possible and so I highly recommend that everyone do this.  By infusing shades of green in our décor theme, we subconsciously connect to Nature.  It’s just that simple.

Early this morning I walked five miles at the park.  I was overwhelmed with the panoramic view of green around me.  With many of the trees in varying degrees of sprouting new leaves, the shades of green seemed endless.  I felt like Julie Andrew’s character, Maria in The Sound of Music as I realized my arms began stretching out to encompass the beauty surrounding me.  No, I can’t sing, but I sure come alive surrounded in green!

To living green…

Peace Pilgrim. Photo credit Benick at en.wikipedia.

In my blog post, Love In Your HOME, I discussed how I was using the word “Love” as a verb for the month of February and so I was actively participating in the giving of affection to others.  As part of the exercise I put a “Love Quote” on LIPH’s Facebook Fanpage each day to visually cue others to actively participate in spreading love.  While researching enough Love Quotes to last me the 29 days of February, I happened upon a woman that called herself “Peace Pilgrim”.  Intrigued with her, I began to research everything I could about her that was available on the web.  Over a month later, I still think of her every day – she was that inspiring.  This woman, Mildred Lisette Norman began a walk for peace on January 1, 1953.  She walked for 28 years throughout the United States.  One of her quotes that really hit home with me was,

“In order for the world to become peaceful, people must first become peaceful.” 

I get that loud and clear.  In order for peace to reign we must first have peace within ourselves.  And Hallelujah, I know absolutely, positively I have it after my own long and arduous walk down the road to reclaiming my essence after a chance encounter in 2006.  Now like never before, I’m ready to spread the word and the hope for Peace.

With that said, I can’t even begin to commit to the life she chose in 1953.  I couldn’t leave my David.  I would have to beg him to travel with me in a Gypsy Wagon of goods that are on my “must have” list like my Ipod, my Ipad, my scented candles, my lotions and potions, my blow dryer, my dental floss, my tweezers and most importantly, my Maybelline mascara.  Then there’s my Chocolate Lab, Moe, my kids and grandkids and of course, God’s Littlest Angel – Ansley.  Gosh, I’d need an entire caravan!  Peace Pilgrim carried nothing, needed nothing and wanted nothing.  Nothing at all.  All she had and all she needed was what she was wearing.  She walked until someone offered her food and/or shelter speaking to whoever would listen about peace.  Wow is all I can say whenever I think of her quest, her commitment and her hope for peace that continued until her untimely death in 1981.

Although I don’t have the gumption to do what she did, her message of hope for peace has resonated with me in a way that stays with me every single day.  I even find myself constantly listening to a song by The Rascals popular in the late 1960’s called, A Ray of Hope.  Working out every day at the gym I listen to it over and over and over allowing the words to fill my body, my heart and my soul to the point that my body pulses with the desire to shout out the words I’m listening to.  Doesn’t everyone need to hear them?!?

“I know a lot of people who think like me

That this world can be a place that’s filled with harmony

First there’s a lot of things we’ve got to rearrange

Put an end to hate and lies

So peace can come and truth shall reign”  A Ray of Hope

Adding to all this, several weeks ago I had a “religion” discussion with my daughter-in-law, Kathleen.  Besides working fulltime she has gone back to school at night.  (You go girl!)  One of the courses she’s taking is a World Religion class taught by a Methodist Minister.  One of her assignments was to take an online test (Belief-O-Matic on beliefnet.com).  She took the test and scored exactly where she thought she would.  Her husband, (my son) Ben also took the test.  He scored in a “religion” I had never heard of that once I researched did accurately fit his belief system.  So  – curiosity got the better of me and I took the test.  Good golly Miss Molly- I scored totally differently that I though I would.  What the heck’s Jainism I wondered?  I had to look it up…

After looking it up and reflecting on it and discussing it with Kathleen, I realized it did fit me well as I really do love all creatures great and small and I abhor violence.  Then my stepson, Danny and his wife visited a couple of weeks later.  Both Orthodox Jews, I told them about the test and so they took it themselves.  They both scored just where they expected to. Interestingly enough, all of us that have taken the test have scored differently and this just proves my point about living in perfect harmony.  We can all choose to live peacefully.  And, regardless of our religious persuasions, we can all do our part in making the world a better place where people can live in peace and harmony as a collective humanity.  That’s why for me I strive for inclusivity rather than exclusivity – I believe there’s room for all of us so long as we agree to get along.

“We’ll pray for a day when all men are free

And people can live like they’re meant to be

Meanwhile it’s up to you and me

Start working together towards this dream”  A Ray of Hope

My mission, my calling and my hope might be tiny compared to what others like Peace Pilgrim have done.  But, it doesn’t matter.  All that matters is that I understand the need to live peacefully – within myself and with each and every person I encounter.  After all, just like the song, “Let there be Peace on Earth” it just flat needs to begin with me…

To Peace and the hope that it springs eternal…

Please take the time to check out Peace Pilgrim by going to www.peacepilgrim.org.  Give peace a chance ~ within you and to all those you encounter.

And as I wrote in my recent spring post, Spring: A Season Of New Beginnings, spring is a wonderful time of year for new beginnings both in the structural home you live in and in the personal HOME that is uniquely you.  The tradition of spring-cleaning is one great way to refresh and renew your space while also decluttering it of all the things keeping your space from being truly beautiful.  So with that in mind, I am reprinting parts of my original post on clutter.

Reasons for clutter

I think the reasons people have clutter in their homes are usually for one of the following:

• Lack of proper storage space
• Life changes such as a move, a new baby or anything that throws life out of whack
• Poor time/life management skills
• Psychological issues such as depression, family dysfunction, low self-esteem, poor personal boundaries and even attention deficit disorder

I call the first three of these reasons “temporary clutter”.  In other words, all three are easy to fix with a little effort and determination.  Still, clutter is clutter, which can be unsettling to your mind.  My recommendation to you if your homespace is cluttered for any of these reasons is to find simple solutions for them.  Your stress will decrease, your feel good vibes will increase and your space will become truly beautiful!  I guarantee it.

Now, the fourth reason – that’s a tough one.  It takes a lot of work to rid your homespace of clutter if there are psychological components to it.  Mind you, I’m not talking about the extreme of hoarding here.  That’s a whole other ball of wax.  I’m talking about routine clutter that detracts and distracts from your sanctuary – the place you call HOME.

The psychology of clutter

Here’s a list of some of the spaces in your home where clutter accumulates and what the clutter there might symbolize:

Kitchen – Difficulty with emotional nourishment for yourself or others

Main Living Space – Feelings of isolation

Hallways – Obstacles in your life

Bedroom – Distancing from partner and/or intimacy with others

Bathroom – Low self-esteem

Closets – Hidden Issues

Basement – Ignored Issues

Garage – Confusion about direction in your life

Exterior and yard – Low self-worth and a sense of giving up

Anyone find the symbolism of clutter in these spaces thought provoking?  I certainly do.

After the first printing of my post on clutter, it was fun to hear from readers and friends about the state of their own homes and what they planned to do about it.  One dear friend, Jolie even decided to tackle her office and do some necessary decluttering there after reading my post.  She told me that it felt wonderful to remove over seven boxes of files and paperwork and send it all to the shredder.  Imagine- she discarded seven boxes of paperwork just cluttering up her space!  As all things go, it propelled her to continue the decluttering in other areas of her space as well.  That domino thing you know…

Every homespace should reflect the best of those that dwell within it.  So, if spaces within your home suffer from constant clutter, look inside (both your inner self and your home) and get to work.  Honor yourself this spring with actively participating in decluttering your space.  It will put you on the road to a whole new you.

To a no clutter zone…

This daughter of mine turns 30 today.  In honor of such an auspicious occasion, I want to tell you a little about her.  As I wrote in my post, A House Becomes A Home When…, Sammi began a life-long love for the movie, The Wizard of Oz at the wee age of two.  Every single morning the first thing she would ask to do was to go to the basement and watch “Ya Ha Ha” as that’s what she called the movie.  Thumb in her mouth and snuggled with her silk night-night blanket around her that my mother made her; she would sit mesmerized through the entire movie.  Honestly, I felt guilty allowing her to watch this every single morning sure it was a sign of being a bad mother or something, but it was as much a part of her as anything I’ve ever seen in someone.  Looking back on those precious times I marvel at the synchronicity of this movie coming into her life at such a young age.  It’s as if Sammi intuitively knew as a wee little one that there were life lessons to learn from this movie that would carry her along her own yellow brick road.  And, indeed it’s true.

I won’t bore you with too many details, but suffice it to say that Sammi has faced many challenges in her thirty years.  From an early age she had health issues.  I should’ve know from the start she would be this way- right after arriving into the world she stubbornly refused to breathe on her own and so she was swept away to an incubator that did the work for her even before I could hold her.  Each time the nurses would try to take her out of the incubator she would make it clear she just flat wasn’t ready!  Her growing up years were full of constant trips to doctors with unexplained aches and pains, fevers and other symptoms that quite frankly worried me that the doctors saw signs of Munchausen by Proxy.  Yearly visits to specialists at Chapel Hill in NC put her through painful testing and as she got older much of it was truly embarrassing for a young girl.  I cannot emphasize enough the heartache I felt for my daughter to endure this endless testing, poking and prodding year after year only to be followed with other issues that further complicated her life.  Then, on top of it all Sammi was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome at the ripe old age of nineteen.   Though a blessing to finally connect the dots of some of her ailments she had experienced through the years, the diagnosis brought with it tremendous life changes for her.

Dorothy, The Scarecrow, The Tin Man and The Cowardly Lion

Sammi, loving her red shoes

Part of Sammi’s diagnosis with Fibromyalgia included an eight-week hospital program for learning to live with chronic pain.  And part of that program included counseling for the families to learn more about this condition I could hardly pronounce.  I’m so glad I attended these sessions as I learned firsthand from the experts all about the complexities a condition like this presents for not just the patient but for the family as well.  For example, I learned that because Fibromyalgia involves tremendous pain on a daily basis, depression is a real problem.  Knowing there is no cure for it or why it occurs adds to the depressiveness of it all, too.  Even worse, there are no visible signs of the condition so people tend to discount it unfairly.  Her team of doctors told me that Sammi was by far the worst case they had ever had in the program.  Wonder of wonders, at the end of the eight-week program, she was rated the highest in improvement.  Absolutely, positively I know why she did so well – The Wizard of Oz.  Faced with all these medical challenges, Sammi brought forth from her stored long-term memory the lessons she learned from Dorothy, The Scarecrow, The Lion and The Tin Man.   Like Dorothy, Sammi traveled The Yellow Brick Road to find her way home.  Like The Scarecrow, Sammi realized she had the ability to use her brain to think through and make personal choices of what she would do with the rest of her life in spite of her medical issues.  Like The Tin Man, she realized she had a beautiful heart to love herself enough to handle not just these medical issues, but also the other challenges of life that would come further down the road.  And finally, like The Cowardly Lion, Sammi realized that she had the courage and unwavering faith in herself to persevere through it all.

There’s no place like HOME

Photo Credit: Kristin Vining Photography

The Wizard of Oz is a story of finding home and is a story we can all learn from.  I am deeply grateful that my darling daughter was enamored with this movie as a child to the extent that she was able to pull from it all that she needed when she took her own walk down The Yellow Brick Road during her troubling time.  Through the movie’s life lessons so well portrayed by the characters, she learned a valuable truth – HOME is within us so we need not look any further.  All we have to do is realize it and open our hearts, minds and souls to the wonder.

Sammi, like all of us continues to have challenges.  She has had numerous surgeries and twice has been in life-threatening health situations.  Even when giving birth to “God’s Littlest Angel” she became gravely ill.  Months later Sammi told me that through that first night she consciously willed herself to stay alive for her precious baby.  I have no doubt that the lessons she learned from The Wizard of Oz echoed through her sub-conscious that night and gave her the skills she needed to make it.  Yep, with each new challenge she pulls from within and in doing so she broadcasts to the world that there’s no place like HOME.  Happy birthday dear daughter and please know, God sure was right to send you to me.  I marvel at your wisdom, your heart and your courage.

To knowing all roads lead HOME…

Spring-cleaning my house

At the same time I’m feeling twitterpated I turn to my nest and do some spring-cleaning to say goodbye to ole man winter and hello to a new beginning.  Psychologists say that spring-cleaning is good for the psyche.   When we declutter our houses of anything we needed around us to feel warm and cozy through the winter, we give our space a fresh new look that carries with it a fresh new energy.  (To learn more about how clutter affects you read my post, Clutter In Your Space Clutters Your Mind)  I remember well the rituals of spring-cleaning when I was growing up.  Things like changing the bedspreads on the beds to lighter weight coverlets and removing the heavy winter blankets from the beds were springtime chores.  These items would be cleaned and stored in cedar closets until the next winter.  We kids also had to clean out our bedroom closets because back then in the days of covered wagons (or so my own kids say) part of every season was changing our clothes out for the new season.  Away would go all the winter sweaters and coats and out would come the short sleeve shirts and cooler clothing items.  It was fun to make these changes because it gave me a feeling of newness and freshness.  To this day I actively participate in some of these same rituals.

As a decorator that focuses totally on details, I cannot tell you how often I go into homes and realize that they’re what I call “surface cleaned”.  By that I mean that on the surface things look OK, but on a closer inspection it’s another story altogether.  Now, the reason this is a problem is that these unclean spaces and places impact your health in ways you might not be aware of.   You see, accumulated dust and dirt affects the air we breathe as every breath we take contains particles of dust and pollutants around us.  I read recently that researchers believe that indoor air can be as much as ten times more polluted than outdoor air.  Much of this is due to how well sealed our homes and buildings are today as it’s only been in the last one hundred years or so that we have had air-conditioning, central heat, thermal pane windows, weather-stripping and other forms of insulation that keep everything air-tight.  Routine cleaning of these hidden spaces and places becomes necessary for good health.  So, this year while doing your spring-cleaning make sure you add some of these areas to your list to clean as they are culprits for overlooked accumulations of dust and dirt:

• The top of the fridge
• Behind the fridge
• Behind furniture
• The tops of frames on your walls
• The tops of doorframes
• On light bulbs
• On electrical cords behind furniture
• Under sofa and chair cushions
• On closet shelves
• On air return vents

Spring-cleaning my HOME

Springtime is also a time I do some cleaning of my interior space, my HOME.  For me it’s a time to look inward and reflect on ways to change and grow emotionally and spiritually.  All of us have dust and dirt accumulating in ourselves.  Just as we have dust accumulating in hidden spaces and places of our structural home and on boxes sitting in our attics and basements that we haven’t peeked into for years, we have the same accumulating in our hearts, minds and souls.  So, feeling twitterpated in spring gives me the added push and courage for new beginnings within.  Through the years, particularly since I began rehabbing my HOME after a chance encounter on a plane (read my post, Construction Zone: Rehabbing My HOME for more on this experience) I have found some real specific ways to declutter my HOME that have absolutely, positively worked.  Here are some of them:

• Spending time in Nature
• Bringing elements of Nature into my structural home
• Meditating
• Exercising regularly
• Practicing my Faith
• Surrounding myself with things that lift me up such as aromatic essential oils and candles
• Listening to soothing/inspirational music
• Bringing fresh air into my structural home and my personal HOME
• Choosing to live in peace and harmony
• Actively paying it forward each day

Review~Refresh~Renew

For me Spring-cleaning can best be summed up as a process of what I call “The Three R’s” – review, refresh and renew.  What a wonderful time of year to review the state of your space, refresh the areas that need refreshing and in doing so allow yourself to be renewed.  That truly makes for a new beginning!

As I’m writing this I have my office windows open and I feel a gentle breeze coming in.  I hear the birds chirping and have even spied two hawks harmoniously soaring in the sky nearby.  Yep, I’m twitterpated for sure and in the next few minutes the wondrous outdoors will entice me to come out and feel the splendor it has to offer me.

To new beginnings…