IF You … Then You Know You Made A Decorating Blunder

In my recent post, Five Common Blunders In Home Decor, I listed my all-time top five that I have encountered through the years.  I do admit that I have an eye for unusual details. Couple that with a good memory and I tell you, I can remember decorating blunders from years past even as a child.

For any of you that haven’t read my post on blunders, let me educate you as to what a blunder is.

Blunder: To make a mistake through stupidity, ignorance or carelessness.

So clearly, to make a blunder is an innocent mistake which means if it’s pointed out to you well then heck, you can fix it and voila, the blunder is gone.  At least that’s what should happen!

Now, I’m not much for comedy.  I’m pretty simple so most of it goes over my head.  Give me a good episode of Persons of Interest or Alcatraz and I’m a happy camper.  There is one comedian however that I totally get – Jeff Foxworthy.  Maybe it’s because I’m a southerner and so I understand his redneck jokes.  Or maybe his unique style of posing each joke as a hypothesis makes it clearer for it.  Or maybe its because I am a redneck!  Whatever the case may be, his style of one-liners has spilled over into my own personal life and for years I have obsessively used this same “If…Then” one-liner game to describe personality types and characteristics I encounter myself.  For example, I once wanted to list the qualities of a Narcissist so I played the Jeff Foxworthy game in my head saying things like, “If your husband thinks he’s the only good guy in the universe, then you know he’s a Narcissist”.  Or here’s another one.  “If your boss thinks God has given him a unique gift no one else understands, then you know he’s a Narcissist”.  See what I mean?  Or in trying to define a Drama Queen I’d say, “If she constantly overreacts to the itsy-bitsiest little thing, then you know she’s a Drama Queen”.  I’m telling you, this “If…Then” game can become a habit.  I play it in my head All.The.Time.  It’s quite entertaining.

So back to decorating and blunders.  As I wrote in Five Common Blunders In Home Décor, I’ve seen it all.  Most of the blunders I’ve encountered are easy ones to correct but some are real doozies.  Doozies put you on the road to Tackyville and if you make too many of these blunders, your home registers on my “Tacky Interiors Registry”.  OK, I’m kidding here.  I don’t have a Registry – yet.   But, just like my head game of “If…Then”, I also over and over again in my head design and decorate what I call “Tacky Interiors”.  I even have on my Bucket List of things to do before I expire teaching a Decorating 101 Course.  The first project I will assign the class will be to design a “Tacky Interiors Home” – fabrics, furniture, accessories, storyboard and all.  Talk about fun!  Oh and just so you know – Tacky for me means decorating blunders that create such an unpleasant distraction that the overall look becomes a real eyesore.  (Remember the Griswolds?  Yep, their house would be on my Registry!)

In no particular order, here’s my list of “If…Then” one-liners that define doozie-decorating blunders.  I hope you enjoy them and let me just say, nobody reading this post needs to worry about ever being on my “Tacky Interiors Registry” so don’t start guessing to whom I’m referring…

  • If you look at the calendar and notice it’s March and the Christmas Decorations are still up, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If your foyer chandelier still has the plastic wrap on the individual shades after a year, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If you have plastic runners overtop of your carpeting, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If it’s the middle of winter and you have last summer’s dead plants still on your front porch, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If you have the garden tags still hanging on your potted plants inside your home or out, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If you have street facing garage windows with no window coverings or blinds on them and you can see the stuff in your garage, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If electrical cords for your lamps or other electronics go from one room to the next for an outlet to plug into, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If the blinds on your windows still have the manufacturer’s tags dangling from each one and you plan to keep the blinds, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If you decorate your gutter downspouts with greenery and lights for Christmas and you aren’t the Griswolds, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If your microwave or toaster oven sits on top of a pile of other household items, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If you have Cannabis Plants decorating your home, then you know you made a decorating blunder.  (And it might get you in trouble!)
  • If your solid wood dining room table is always covered in a table pad, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If the bedskirt on your bed is inches off the floor, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If you have TMI of personal hygiene in public areas of your home, then you know you made a decorating blunder.
  • If you have plastic flowers and ferns planted in your flowerbeds, then you know you made a decorating blunder.

And finally,

  • If you have a pit in your stomach while reading this post, then you made a decorating blunder… somewhere, somehow… and you’re worried!

Enjoy checking out your homespace.  Let me know what you find!

To loving life…